Friday, January 1, 2010

The Most Ridiculous Movie I've Seen


I saw Avatar today. I almost walked out about an hour in. I had to stifle my laughter at the ridiculousness of it. I can't believe that after Titanic, people still let James Cameron write a script. Instead of "Jack!"/"Rose!" for two hours, it was "Jake!"/"Irit!" (or whatever her name is) for two hours.

I won't deny that the special effects were cool, although, the 3-D neatness wore off within the first 20 minutes, but the story was just terrible. Yes, yes, humans are bad. Very bad. We will annihilate a species for a piece of rock. We've done it before. But it was just so over the top. And since when is Giovanni Ribisi old enough to run an army?

The main bad guy was so one note, I almost felt bad for him. Our "hero" was such a doofus/hick/tough guy that I wanted bad things to happen to him. The "heroine" was alright and probably the only good character in the movie (besides the goofy nerd sidekick that is always in these stories).

There were also plenty of inconsistencies to take you right out of the movie. For instance, why can't Jake have an electric wheelchair? The military has the most insane weapons and technology, yet they can't get the guy a decent wheelchair? He has to wheel himself around all the time?

Or the whole idea that if the humans leave their bunkers without masks on, they will die from the gas that is in the air. Yet Michelle Rodriguez can fly around in her helicopter with the doors open and she's fine? This happened several times in the movie.

The movie was one big ejaculation for James Cameron. I wasn't expecting anything more, but I guess I thought I would find some enjoyment out of it. Instead I was bored to tears. I almost fell asleep. My eyes are still a little sore from the 3-D. This is coming from someone who saw Titanic twice in the theater. I want my two and a half hours back, James Cameron.

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