Monday, February 2, 2009

Burned After Viewing


My husband and I headed to Target on Friday night looking for a funny movie. We went for Role Models, which is not out yet, and left with Burn After Reading. We thought, Cohen Brothers, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, the reviews all over the box calling it hilarious were all good signs. How could it go wrong?

Oh, man did it go wrong.

What a horrible, boring movie. We did not watch it together. That's usually what happens. We buy a movie with every intention of sitting down and watching it together and then we get distracted and end up watching them alone on the computer, which is what I did on Sunday night.

I sat there in front of the computer staring for a very long time. I wanted to laugh. By the end, I wanted to feel something. But I felt nothing. Just boredom.

My biggest issue is that I am so sick of movie after movie filled with horrible people that do horrible things to other horrible people and you are supposed to care. It is the new hip way to make a movie and it's getting really old. There was not one character to root for in the whole movie. The closest one was John Malkovich, and I can't stand him, so that made me dislike the movie even more.

I'm not looking for some Rudy like underdog character. But just make someone likable. I live in the real world and generally hate most people, but there are likeable people out there, as well.

I have a feeling that's what Brad Pitt's character was supposed to be. But I just couldn't get over how awful he looked. I'm not a Brad Pitt fangirl and have not found him attractive for years now. What bothered me was his age. I'm not entirely sure if the character he was playing was supposed to be an old guy trying to be young. To me, it just seemed like they wanted Brad in the movie, gave him a part, botoxed the hell out of his face and told this 45 year old guy to play at 28 year old. It just didn't work. He looked ridiculous - and not in a funny way. And not in a Benjamin Button way, either.

It also felt like an excuse for a bunch of friends to get together and make a movie without any regard for story or entertainment.

It was not funny. It was not sad. It was not shocking. It was not entertaining. It barely barely held my attention. I kept waiting for the good part, and the next thing I knew it was over.

I will give this move .5 out of 5 stars, but it only goes to Richard Jenkins, who was the only character I actually cared for. Although I kept waiting for the big reveal that he was a recovering pedophile or something after it's revealed he used to be a priest. Luckily, that never happened. Maybe in the director's cut?

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