I performed, once again, at O'Donovan's Open Mic Night last night. I hope that I don't sound ungrateful. I love doing it. But I'm eager to move on and do more. I feel like I've been working at this for so long already, but I really haven't. I've spent my adult life writing songs, so it feels like a long time for me. But, really, it's only been since January that I've been pursuing any sort of external desire to do this. And do what? I don't know. I just want to play my own shows, maybe get my name on a flier, and make an album that I can sell for a couple of bucks when I play my shows. That's it. I don't want fame or superstardom or to be the next big local act. I just want to play shows around town. Either by myself or in a band. And make an album.
The album part is already coming together. I've got the songs. I've been recording. I just need to make them sound more polished. I've got someone to work with to make the album artwork. Then I just plan to start burning cds and putting them out at shows - or open mic nights as that is all that I seem to play.
Like I said, not that I'm ungrateful. It's just hard to get people to show up when you don't know for sure if it's happening, you don't know when you're playing or how many songs you get to do. An invitation that reads the following does not sound very enticing: I'll be playing tonight at this place, maybe, for at least one song, maybe more, at some time that I can't even begin to gauge - please come.
And, at most, I get only 3 songs to showcase myself. So, I've always got to pick the attention grabbers. I don't really get to test out others. It's just very frustrating.
But everyone has to start somewhere.
I don't know why I feel the need to rush this. I just want to do more! more! more! I feel like I'm playing catch up. I need to remember to slow down and not take the enjoyment out of it. Otherwise, what's the point?
Setlist for last night: "Good to Know", "Minnesota", "Good".
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