Typical

The way I've gone about this blog these past few days is how I seem to tackle most things. I start out all super excited and motivated. I spout declarations like, "I'm going to post every day in June! Really, I am! I can do it!". Then I do it. I do it for a while. And I enjoy it. And then something happens, and I miss a day or an assignment. And I think to myself, "It's okay. It's just one day. It doesn't mean it's over. I can make it up. I can get back on the horse."

So the next day happens and I make it happen, but it's half-assed. The momentum has been lost. So much so that the next day happens and I do nothing. I think, "well, I already missed once. Maybe I was pushing myself too much. It's best to take a break." Then the "break" goes from one day to two to three until I've completely mucked it all up and find myself wallowing in guilt because I failed.

This is how I do things.

But, it's cool. I've got things going on. Just not enough to write about every day. Or maybe too much that I haven't had the time. 30 posts in a row was a big goal for me. I managed something like 23. I came up a week short. I shouldn't be feeling so bad about this.

She Always Comes Through

Over the past decade, I've found myself often disappointed in the output of Ani Difranco. She used to be an idol of mine. Alright. She is still is an idol of mine. If it wasn't for her, I don't think I would have learned to play guitar. Wanting to play her songs forced me to learn to play. I thank her for that.

But, as the years have gone on, her music has suffered. It's never as bad as people make it seem. It still way better than most out there. But, she was lyrically so amazing, and that has suffered.

She seems to be phoning it in now and it's unfortunate. Her fans are urging her to take a break. Raise her kid. Come back when you have the time to spare and devote. But she can't. She has a business to run and she is the money maker.

So she puts out albums/songs and you grow to love them because, like I said, they are still better than most out there.

But it has become a rare occasion that a song of hers grabs you from the get-go and pulls so much emotion out of you that you almost can't stand it.

A lot of people have complained that ever since she settled down and got happy, that she can't write anymore. Well, everyone needs to listen to the following song, which proves, that you can write a happy song and it can be so ridiculously full of heart and meaning that you find yourself crying at work whilst listening to it.

It is simple. It is sung from the heart. It is "Hearse". Enjoy.

Fail

My goal to create a new post every day for the month of June did not happen. I missed yesterday. I was barely at a computer yesterday. It was a busy day. I was out of the office at an HR training conference and then went directly to happy hour for a co-worker who is leaving and got home late and went to bed. It was a long odd day without my internets.

So this HR conference could also be added to the Fail List. It wasn’t so bad. I did learn some things. But the speaker was a douche.

First, let me say that the atmosphere of this place didn’t help much either. It was your typical 2 star hotel banquet room. Horrible carpeting swirling in shades of brown and beige, white tableclothed round tables, each with a pitcher of ice water. Walls that weren’t actually walls, but dividers between each of the conference rooms. No windows. No clocks. Drab, drab, drab.

It cost some money to go to this. I assumed my fee covered the speaker’s fee. But, apparently, this wasn’t enough of money for him and at some point in his career, he decided to hook up with some text book sellers and push their books for them for, what I’m sure is, a nice commission. The first half of the day consisted of him going over topics and then pointing to the different books he had lined up against the back wall that we could buy for the low low package price of $450. Yeah. No thanks. Surprisingly, though, he did sell quite a few books. So I guess that works for him.

The second half of the day was all about how President Obama is going to destroy this country. Okay. So it wasn’t that blatant. But I paid for a class to tell me what I need to do in my job right now to be doing it correct. I didn’t need to hear about this dude’s opinion on the possible laws that the President may pass at some future date. Not relevant.

My ire was really raised, though, when he started going on about the audacity that women with babies dare to even dream about the possibility of 12 weeks PAID maternity leave – because that alone, will cripple the nation.

Come on! Countries all around the world give women much more time off than we do. Some up to 2 years PAID maternity leave. Not to mention the upwards of 8 weeks of vacation most other countries in the world receive. Oh, but as our speaker said, that would make us Socialist, and who wants that? Because, as he said, the media only tells you the good part about the large amounts of vacation that other countries get. They don’t explain the increase in taxes and healthcare costs that will happen because of this.

Well, if The Powers That Be want to take another $20 out of my paycheck so that someone new mother can spend more time with her new born, go right ahead. And I don’t even like kids. If they want to take another $20 out of each paycheck so that I can have 6 extra weeks of vacation each year, please, take it now! Maybe people wouldn’t be so fucked up in this country if we all got out of the office every once in a while.

Coffee = Good

I stopped drinking coffee about 9 years ago. I was 21 and coffee just seemed to accentuate the hangovers I had most weekend mornings. It got to the point that the coffee I would have in the morning at work would just remind me of being hungover. So I quit drinking it.

I originally started drinking coffee around the age of 14. My friends and I used to hang out at the Truckstop by my town. It’s not as seedy as it sounds. All of my friends either cooked, waitressed, or cashiered there. So it became the place to hang out. We’d get free coffee and pie.

Back then, I took my coffee with 9 sugars. 9! How disgusting is that? Very disgusting, that’s how disgusting. I eventually weaned myself off of the sugars and started just drinking it black – and I never looked back.

I never got into the “fancy” coffees. Lattes and Cappuccinos and Mochaccinos and Turtle Mocha Cappuccinos or whatever they’re called. Just give me a cup of black coffee – no room for cream. And make sure it’s hot.

But, as I said, one day I just couldn’t drink it anymore. 9 years went by without a cup. If I went to a coffee shop with someone, I would get a hot chocolate. That was not a good idea. You know how quickly you gain weight by drinking hot chocolate? It doesn’t take long. Especially when it’s 20 below every day for a month and you just want a warm drink and tea is just not going to cut it and every morning you walk past a Caribou Coffee and they have the best hot chocolate so you stop and get one every. single. morning. It’s just a bad idea. It doesn’t end well.

Then one particularly cold night in the fall, it was freezing in my house and too early in the season to turn the heat on. My husband made a pot of coffee and it smelled so wonderful. He brought it into the den and the steam was rising from it and I just had to have some. So I did. And it was grand.

Now, I’m hooked. Again. And Folgers barely cuts it anymore. Not after I discovered Starbucks’ rocket fuel, also known as Pike’s Place Roast. That is some good coffee. In fact, I’m having some right now.

Dream Log #6

I wrote a book in my dream last night. Well, I didn't complete it, but I started it. It had a beginning and I knew how I wanted it to end. It had a cast of characters and I had written vivid descriptions of each of them - 10 total. I was super excited and couldn't believe how easily it was coming together. The plot had something to do with a plane crash. I remember being concerned that people would compare it to Lost, but there was nothing supernatural about it.

I woke up in the middle of the night and thought, wow, I should write all that down. At that moment, I still remembered all the details. But, of course, I just went back to sleep and woke up this morning with just the recollection of the dream, but not all the details.

I remember an interview with Paul McCartney where he said he wrote "Yesterday" after dreaming the melody. Maybe when these dreams happen, I need to get up immediately while it is still fresh and transcribe them. Maybe my own "Yesterday" is hidden deep in my subconscious somewhere.

Father's Day

I went to see my dad today. It is Father's Day after all. It's always difficult to go over there. My dad isn't getting any younger or healthier. He's never been a happy man and age and all the complications he's had from diabetes haven't made him any happier. His biggest concern is that he never wants to be a burden on anyone. And now, I think he feels like he is, though no one else thinks that.

He lives with my brother in a trailer house. He's miserable. He never gets out of the house. He lost his leg 10 years ago due to diabetes and his eyesight started to go shortly after. So he can't get around very easily. He finds it difficult to be around people since he can't really see who he's talking to. I think his mind isn't quite as sharp anymore, either. This is a new development. He tends to go off on tangents that have nothing to do with what's being talked about. He spaces out. It's hard to hold his attention.


He hates going to the doctor, which is why the diabetes got so bad in the first place. It was everything me and my siblings could do to finally get him going regularly and to get on insulin. But now he just found out that he can only get his insulin in 3 months doses, versus the year dosage he was getting before. This means he now has to go to the doctor every 3 months. This pisses him off and he says he's not going to go and is certain he can control his insulin levels on his own.

What sucks is that he won't go and there is nothing anyone can do about it. The one thing my dad wants is his dignity and you are not going to shove him into a car kicking and screaming like a baby. So what do you do? Do you let him go down this path that will certainly kill him? Or do you force him against his will to go take care of himself? The irony is that, by acting this way, he's become the burden that he never wanted to be. It's hard to say that, but it's true. I know everyone just wishes he would be a little more eager to enjoy the life that he still has. If he would just want to go outside once in a while. This is a man who used to spend every available moment he could outdoors. Hour and hours were spent lying in the sun, tanning in his bright orange speedos that he had my entire life. I'm sure they are still sitting in a drawer somewhere.

But instead he just wants to sit at the kitchen table and listen to sports radio. That's all he does. He lives ridiculous hours. Today he told me he gets up every night around midnight and cleans the house. I'm sure my brother is just thrilled by this.


But what can you do? I love my dad more than I could ever express in a stupid blog post. He is my world. When I was a teenager, I honestly thought that I would never be able to leave home because I could never leave him all alone. But then my sister took him in and I felt that I could begin my life.

And then I saw him less and less and life went on and visits were few and every time I leave I feel this ball of guilt just knot up in my stomach. I just want him to be my dad again and I know one of these days, probably sooner than I care to believe, he's going to be even less of my dad. And I don't know if I can handle that.


But I don't know how to fix it. Because, really, how can you fix it? He's old and his health is deteriorating. That's what happens in life.

While at my dad's today, my brother's mother (confusing, yes) and her husband came over. These two used to be the life of the party. But Kurt, the new husband, had a stroke a few years ago and he's basically catatonic. He just sat there and stared. When I asked her how she's been, she said they've "been surviving". I just never want that to be the answer I give. She just seemed beaten. She said they don't get out much anymore.


It's just all so sad. Getting old. At some point you must just sit back and think, what the hell happened?


And, like my dad, I never want to be a burden on anyone. Which is another reason why I never want to have kids. I'll just let the state take care of me.

So, yeah, this was how I spent Father's Day. Contemplating life and death and just feeling all around blue. It's a beautiful day outside, too. The first one in a long time. I just wish I wasn't feeling so blah now.


Anyway, I love my dad. I'm glad he's my dad. As stubborn as he is.

OK (let's) Go!

It's time to Rock the Garden once again. I am volunteering at the VIP table again. I hope it works out as well as it did last year and I get a VIP pass, which means I get free food and beer and a private bathroom. I cannot go back to port-a-potties again.

I'm not interested in any of the bands this year. The lineup is: MGMT, OK Go, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings, and the Retribution Gospel Choir. So yeah, not really into any of them. But it's always a good time and the place to be on this particular Saturday in June. You can't beat outdoor rock festivals.

We're taking the bikes to get there. It's a long way and there will be 14 mph headwinds. It will be tough, but it's so worth it. And it's always super fun to ride the bikes downtown.

It's supposed to be a beautiful day. I look forward to being outside with friends listening to music.

Babble

One of the things that has struck me lately, and that was reinforced this morning when I looked at what I was wearing to the office, is that I don't plan on "growing up" anytime soon. I have a house/mortgage, I pay my bills, I go to work every day. But I'm dressed like an 18 year old. Converse, jeans, and a Rhymesayers t-shirt is not exactly office attire. Even for casual Fridays. Luckily for me, I work at an office where every day is casual Friday and this kind of clothing is acceptable to wear.



They say you shouldn't dress for the job you have, but for the job you want. So what kind of job does my outfit make it seem like I want?

I'm 30 going on 21. Is this bad? Should I shake it off and act like a "real" grown up?

.......................

Have I mentioned that I'm incredibly impatient? I don't like to wait for anything, anywhere. Lines make me want to scream. Waiting makes me want to throw a tantrum on the floor. Hate. It. Another thing I hate is when someone tells you they are going to do something and give you the results of that something on a certain day and then that day passes, and another one passes and then you send them a follow up email - even though you don't want to come off like a nag, but come on! - and they still don't respond and you kind of need to know what the results are so you can move on with your plans.

I don't like when people can't make a decision. Just tell me yes or no. Or I will give you the answer myself. And it's no. Sorry. You lose. Times up. I said Good Day!

............................

My friend is moving out of state back to her home town in Texas. She has an 18 year old son who will be staying here in Minnesota. She wanted to make him a cd of all the songs that she used to sing to him. One of the songs was a lullaby that she made up. She asked me if I would put music to it and sing it and record it so she can put it on the disc. So I did. And it's probably my favorite thing I've ever done. It's the first time I've created something that meant so much to someone. It was a nice feeling.

..........................

Oasis have released their, I think, 8th Greatest Hits album titled Time Flies. I love Oasis. I kind of fell out with them after Be Here Now, but have found some gems here and there. In fact, the following song could be my favorite Oasis song ever. And it's sung by Noel. So it's doubly awesome.

Have a great weekend.

As Random As It Gets

I've been very busy today and will be very busy tonight, so the time I have to blog is very minimal. But, I don't want to screw up my streak of the 30 straight posts in June. So here are some random internet things that make me laugh. Enjoy!

My Biggest Fears

There are a lot of things I'm afraid of. Spiders, ants, ferris wheels. But the two things that keep me up at night are Aneurisms and Appendicitis. Strange, I know. But these things really freak me out. And they do, literally keep me up at night.

It's almost like my body knows I'm afraid of these things and so it toys with me. For example, last night, I crawl into bed and almost immediately I feel a pain in my right abdomen. So I lay there and toss and turn hoping I'll find the magical position to make it go away. But I never do.

Then the fear sets in. What if it's appendicitis? Should I be concerned? I don't want to ignore it for fear of it rupturing and killing me. Everyone says, oh, you'll know if you have it. So, is this me knowing? I know I have a pain in my side. What else am I going to know?

Eventually, my mind tires and I fall asleep.

The aneurism fear is a bit different. I suffer from tension headaches. They are awful. They don't hurt, but they make it entirely difficult to focus. For about three days my head feels numb. I can't think. My hand/eye coordination is worse than usual. I find it hard to type. I find it hard to read.

I've had them for years and when they first started kicking in, I thought for sure that I was going to drop dead at any moment. But did I go to the doctor? No. I didn't. Instead, I just let them come and go a couple of times a year. It wasn't until a few months ago that I self diagnosed myself with tension headaches (thanks, Internet!).

I've always been a bit of a hypochondriac. I worry that I'll go to the doctor freaking out that my appendix is about to rupture and kill me and he/she will laugh and tell me it's just gas. How humiliating.

The headaches are probably something I should look into. I'm sure I could be prescribed some better drugs to get rid of them when they occur. But, then I have to make an appointment and take time off of work and spend money on co-pays and prescriptions and that's a lot of work. So, instead, I just deal and worry that I have a tumor growing on brain.

Because, really, aneurisms have got to be the scariest thing that can happen. You can be completely happy and your brain can just decide to give up and you will have zero warning. That's terrifying.

And it keeps me up at night.

People On The Bus

There is a guy on my bus who has the worst breath of anyone I have ever encountered. You don't even have to be near him to smell it (but beware if you are). Today I was sitting behind him, two rows back, and every time he would turn his head to talk to someone, this awful stench would come wafting back at me. I don't know how he keeps the friends he has on the bus. He must be a really nice guy.

I spend upwards of 6 hours a week with the people on my bus. I don't talk to any of them, aside from the occasional nod or 'excuse me' or 'cold out, isn't it?' (for the record, I never say that. I hate talking about the weather. But I've had it said to me on many occasions whilst riding the bus). I prefer to spend my time on the bus engrossed in the music from my iPod or a really good book. Sometimes, not so good books (I spent a summer trying to read The Illiad. Those were difficult bus rides because I knew that I had to read that book. But I did finish it. Though I couldn't tell you a thing about it).

So, even though I don't talk to anyone on the bus, I've created lives and personalities and names for most of them. The regulars. The ones who have been sharing my work commutes with me for the past 5 years.

They are:

Personal Space Invader
Barry Obama
Peter Paul
Eric
Red
Frosty
Brown Shoes
Raoul
Bad Breath
Seat Two
Breakdancing Bobby
The Dancer Girls
Glenda
Alternative Girl
Willie Rogers
Backpack Boy and Downtown Girl
June Cleaver
Agnus
Terri Two
The Old Bat

I really don't have anything more to say about them. I guess I just wanted to document them for my own memory's sake. Like I said, I spend a lot of time with these people.

Power Outage

The power was out this morning. It's always a little disorienting to wake up with the power out. This was made all the more so since I was having a dream about the world ending. Kind of scary to be dreaming about the end of the world and you wake up with a start and look at the alarm clock and it's blank.

I will say that I am quite impressed with my internal alarm clock, though. Especially since it's Monday and I haven't had to wake up to an alarm since Friday. I woke up right at 6:30, which is when I normally get up for work. So, yay, me.

It was interesting to realize how much use I put into electricity before I even leave the house. Let's take a look.

1. Waking up to the alarm.
2. Showering with the light on.
2a. You could add showering with hot water since the hot water only exists for so long when the power goes out.
3. Dressing with the light on.
4. Turning on the TV to hear the weather.
5. Turning on the computer to check my email/Facebook/etc.
6. Blow drying my hair.
7. Putting on my make-up with the bathroom light on.
8. Getting my purse/breakfast/lunch together with the kitchen light on.
9. Checking the living room digital clock to see if it's time to catch my bus.
10. Checking the kitchen digital clock to see if it's time to catch my bus.

Ten things. Ten reasons that I need electricity in the morning. I am lost without it.

Sun, Please

I miss the sun. It has been raining for what feels like forever. Looking at blog posts from last year at this time (for which there were only two), I see that the weather was just as unfortunate at this time last year.

You step outside and it's muggy, but cold. The gnats are buzzing around in all their gnatty glory. The sky is grey. The possibility of a downpour is constantly looming that you can't even consider a bike ride for fear that you will get caught in the rain somewhere too far from home.

So you sit inside with the air conditioning on because even though it is only 60 degrees outside it is humid and it makes living uncomfortable and the AC makes it tolerable.

You eat beautiful salads as a reminder that it is summer and that fruits and veggies are actually fresh and in season and taste wonderful.

Meanwhile, the TV is tuned to the World Cup and that constant buzz of those horns that the crowd uses is the perfect soundtrack to this weather because that is exactly what it feels like outside.

All I want to do is go sit outside in the sunshine and listen to She & Him: Volume Two which I just purchased and is darlingly sunny that it almost makes me angry. Zooey Deschanel is just too cute for words. I think I've developed a little girl crush on her. As, I'm sure, everyone else has.

But, instead, I will sit here on the computer, my fingers finding it hard to type because they are so cold due to the AC being on when it doesn't need to be.

(Look at how crooked my pinky fingers are. This is why I will never be a guitar god.)

Three Things

1. Those boots I wanted a while back? I bought them. And I'm wearing them. And they make me very very happy.

2. There are few things that bring more joy than singing along to "Loser" by Beck.

3. Music videos can still be enjoyable works of art if you find the right ones to watch. For example:

Performing Is Awesome

It's true. Performing is awesome. I love doing it. It make me so happy.

Last night went off really well. Plugging in was not an issue. The soundguy was super nice and explained things to me without me even having to ask. I played seven songs and only messed up lyrics twice. After I was done, a girl came up to me and asked me to write my name down so she could find me on MySpace. That felt good. It's nice to know you reached someone other than the people you brought there.

Now only three more weeks before I get to do it again.

Set List - Acadia Cafe - June 10th, 2010
Good
The Paul Simon Song
Good to Know
Walking Strange
Cohabitate (super super new - and a new favorite of mine to play)
Back at the Start
Cast a Spell

Sudden Anxiety

Quick post before I am away for the night.

I got an unexpected gig at a high profile place tonight. This is now my first official gig. I am getting more and more nervous. But not for the reasons one might expect before a performance. I'm not nervous about singing or playing or remembering the words. I'm nervous about set up. It's just me and my guitar, but I don't know anything about plugging in. Which cord do I grab to plug into my guitar? What about the settings on my guitar? What should they be set at? Eeek!

Do I try to act like I know what I'm doing? Or do I come out with it completely and tell them I'm a complete noob?

I feel like the latter is the best, and right, way to go about things.

I'm used to open mic nights where the staff does everything for you or going completely unplugged. This is a bar with a sound guy and other bands playing and...oh, dear. I hope I don't make an ass of myself.

The Best Thing On The Internet. Ever.

I just discovered this blog today. It has made me so happy. This writer is the funniest person on the internets. I swear. If you don't laugh out loud at something in at least one of her posts, there is something wrong with you. Sorry. There just is.

www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

Jellyfish

One step in a blind man's direction
taking with me every ounce of perspiration that my pores can push out
what's this about?
self doubt, for sure
every door an ominous undertaking
my knees making me move like jellyfish
my arms are heavy and my back is sore
my body pulling closer to the floor
what am i doing this for?
throwing a sound mind to the seas
i lock my knees
and try to breathe
...breathe...
...breathe...
...breathe...
breathe in what makes confidence
what gives people arrogance
enough to shake off this pesky nest of fear
that has made a home in my gut
twisting and burning up my insides
unitl it shows in my eyes
but, hey, at least i'm giving it a try

Dream Log #5

Last night I dreamt I got a gig at the Fitzgerald Theater. It was about half the size it actually is, but still, a pretty large place for me to headline.

I was nervous with anticipation, but oddly confident. The crowd was filled with a lot of friends, but even more unfamiliar faces.

The announcer welcomed me to the stage and it occurred to me I hadn't done a soundcheck. I walked out on stage with my guitar and up to the microphone and the mic stand kept falling over. Every time I would approach it, it would move. I kept looking to the sound guy and he just kept saying "deal with it". Over and over again I tried to sing and each time the stand would begin to sway or fall over or move away from me.

The sound guy said it might work better if he placed me somewhere else. So he moved me up to the side of the stage on a landing. There was a big chandelier blocking my view of the audience and their view of me. I was disappointed, but I thought I would try to play on.

I kept a smile on my face and made jokes about it, but eventually had to leave the stage. It just wasn't working. The announcer brought out another band to take my place while they figured out what was wrong. Amazingly, the mic stand stayed put for them. I was so confused. I hung out backstage with different friends and family members approaching me asking me if I was ever going to play.

Then I woke up.

Pull The Thread As I Walk Away

I heard "Undone (The Sweater Song)" by Weezer on the bus ride in this morning. That song is pure pop perfection. It's like candy. Like Sweet Tarts or Starbursts or lolipops. It's a smile maker. Take a listen.

Sing Songs Along

What is it about multiple voices coming together to create a unified, harmonic sound that both gives me the chills and warms my heart?

I recently joined a choir. A Lady Choir. A choir of gals that will be getting together to make choral arrangements of our favorite songs to, hopefully, perform at local establishments. We had our first meeting today. None of us are professionals. Yet, we started to sing and the blend was beautiful. It's really very magical how that happens.

Music is such an amazing thing.

On Saturday night, my friend Jen held a gathering at her house for her birthday. Her only request was that people either bring a poem/story to read (one they either wrote or just liked) or music to play, so I brought my guitar and sang a song. Two songs. One was the song she and I put together for one of her poems and performed at the Soap Factory a couple of months ago. It was nice to bring that back to life again. I also sang "Lord, I Have Made You a Place in My Heart" by Greg Brown. It's a cover I do often and one Jen seems to enjoy. I was somewhat nervous to sing around the campfire by myself in front of a group of mostly strangers. But it went well. It's such a relief that singing has become such a comfortable thing for me to do. Especially considering that I plan on playing out as much as I can. Each time gets easier. And I love it.

Everyone should sing. The world would be a happier place.

Almost

It's a rainy Saturday and it's really putting a damper on my plans. So, out of boredom, I thought I would run to DSW and see if I can find some boots. And I did. I loved them. They were exactly what I was looking for, they fit, they were comfortable.

They were $100. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't justify buying them when I could only think of one piece of clothing in my closet that I could wear with them.

No I'm sad. I should have bought them.

UPDATE: I bought these on Monday and I love them so much! Now, what can I wear them with?

This Drummer Rules

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

High Violet

As I'm sure I've mentioned numerous times in this blog, I love The National. They have quickly jumped to the top of the pack as my favorite band. Just love them. I love the music, the lyrics, and the voice. Oh, how I love the voice.

Back on May 11th, they released their latest album, High Violet. I was so looking forward to it and, unfortunately, it hasn't quite lived up to my expectations. I think I really need to stop over-hyping things to myself so I don't continue to get disappointed by the musical releases by some of my favorite artists.

It's not a bad album by any means. It's just not quite there. It's missing something that I haven't quite put my finger on yet.

Right before this album came out, I purchased their self-titled debut album and loved it. Usually when you discover a band and work your way back through their discography, their early work doesn't quite live up to the more polished, put together sound of their breakthrough albums. But The National's early work is lyrically so great and a little more rockin' than what they've released recently. Especially compared to High Violet. And maybe that's what's missing.

The lead single off of High Violet, "Bloodbuzz Ohio" is an amazingly rocking tune. The drums are fantastic. The lyrics great. It certainly raised the level of anticipation for the album's release. But the rest of the album, barring a couple of tracks, falls a little flat. It hasn't changed my opinion of them, though. They still rule.

And this album does have the unbelievably gorgeous "Runaway" on it. So that right there is worth the price of the album.

I'm seeing them twice in August on back to back nights at First Avenue. I am prepared for the set to be filled mostly with these songs. And that's cool. That's what they are doing. Promoting an album. I am also prepared for a truly fantastic show, like the one they put on last year. Although, I will try not to overhype it in my head too much. Why set myself up to be disappointed?

Top Tracks on High Violet:
"Runaway"
"Bloodbuzz Ohio"
"Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks"
"England"
"Terrible Love"

My So Called Life

I just finished watching the one season of My So Called Life...again. I loved loved loved this show while it was on. I was a freshman in high school. I could relate. I ran with the Rayannes and Rickys and Jordans and Tinos. I knew the music. I knew the problems. They were happening to me.

I bought the DVDs when they came out. I was thrilled. I watched them right away and loved every minute of them. What I found most interesting is that I was way more invested in the storyline of Angela Chase's parents than I was with the kids. I suppose I relate to the problem's of the adults more now. And that's a good thing.

I also found myself questioning Angela's sanity with regards to her love for Jordan Catalano.

I get it. I guess he fits that dreamy, misunderstood, bad boy character that all high school girls are supposed to love. But have you ever really looked at him? He looks...well...kind of mentally challenged. His eyes are super close together, they almost cross. His dreamy vacant stare is way too vacant. And it doesn't help matters when you find out he can't read. Really, Angela? It also makes me wonder how he got his license if he can't read, but whatever.

This second time through the DVDS, I still enjoyed it, but I found myself cringing at most everything Angela does. When Jordan asks her: "Why are you like that?" I wondered the same thing. Why are you like that, Angela? Why do you do and say such stupid things? Maybe I'm just jaded now as an adult, but I couldn't even imagine saying the things she says to people as a teenager either.

But besides Angela and Jordan, the rest of the characters are fantastic. Ricky, Rayanne, Brian Krakow, Sharon, the never seen Tino...love them all. It was such a great show and as it ended last night, I was bummed that we will never find out what Angela really thinks of Brian writing that note. Or if she and Rayanne will ever be friends again. I'm not so naive to think Angela ends up choosing Krakow. Of course she would stay with Jordan. And that would make it very difficult to be friends with Rayanne again. Although, I'm not sure how I feel about the show saying it's okay to forgive the boyfriend, but not the friend. (If you don't know what this is about **SPOILER*** towards the end of the season, after Angela and Jordan break up, Rayanne sleeps with Jordan. It's crushing and also one of my favorite scenes in TV history and one of my favorite episodes in TV history).

Probably my biggest complaint about the entire show would be the portrayal of Angela's mother, Patty. She is so one dimensional and frigid. The woman never has any fun and never wants anyone else to have fun. She's a drag. She treats Graham, her husband, terribly. She is incredibly judgmental of anyone who does not come from a perfect little life or fit "the norm". She's a really bad character with zero depth. She sucks.

It still saddens me that shows like this and Freaks and Geeks never had time to grow. There was so much potential in both of these series. We get one season of these and yet 24 gets to regurgitate the same plot for something like 7 seasons. And I used to like 24. Prison Break got FOUR seasons. FOUR. Ridiculous. And I really really really love Prison Break. But it was crap. I know it. And I'm okay with it.

Good News!

How awesome that I get to kick off my June goal of a blog post every day with awesome news! I have TWO, yes TWO, shows booked for July! I am beyond excited.

First, I will be playing at The Coffee Grounds in Roseville, MN on July 2nd at 8pm.

Second, I will be playing at the Butter Bakery Cafe in Minneapolis on July 31st at 7pm.

I suddenly feel like I'm on a roll. It's incredibly exciting and terrifying all at once. My own shows! With my own set lists! I don't even know what to think about that. It blows my mind. I can't believe I'm at this place now when just 6 months ago I was terrified to even try an open mic.

Hmmm...now I should probably find out what kind of equipment is needed....