America's Idols

Last night was the American Idol results show that gives us our Top 12. The Top 12 move on to the big stage. One of these Top 12 will be the next American Idol. And, unless something major happens, that person will be Crystal Bowersox because I just don't see one other iota of talent amongst the remaining 11.

Shall we take a look? I will rank them in the order I believe is best to worst.

1. Crystal Bowersox. The girl has got talent. That can not be denied. Though her voice sometimes goes into that Shaun Colvin uber-bland territory at times, most of the time it is right on and full of feeling. She has stage presence. She has the "IT" factor. But, can she survive the myriad of crazy themes that are headed her way? What will she do if Broadway Week happens? And, will she ever put the guitar down? Not that I mind, but when people start to nitpick, this will be the first thing they latch on to.

2. Siobhan Magnus. I got to give it up to the weird girl with the even stranger name. She's awkward. She's a terrible interview. Yet, because she is so awkward, her interviews end up being entertaining. She doesn't "get" things most of the time. But she can sing and she makes interesting song choices.

3. Didi Benami. She's one of those girls with that affected jazzy way of singing that is totally unnatural. But, she does it well and her tone is nice. She has a pleasant singer/songwriter vibe to her. But that's all I can really say. And for someone in my top 3, that's just sad.

4. Michael Lynche. Ugh. I don't even want to go here. I don't like the guy. His ego is twice the size he is, and that's big. But, he he is the only guy left that can actually sing in tune. And, like Crystal, so far he's picked songs that he can relate to, therefore he sings them with feeling, therefore, it's all the more enjoyable for the listener.

It's gets really hard from here on out.

5. Casey James. Only because I feel bad for the guy. He's being sexually harassed by the entire American Idol staff and it's kind of gross. If he was a woman, people would be outraged. His voice is dull, he's dull. But he's still better than the rest.

6. Lee Dewyze. I don't get it. I guess they need a "rocker" this season. He's just a bit too gruff and he has horrible song choices and zero stage presence.

7. Andrew Garcia. I will not mention the Paula Abdul song (but I guess I just did). But he needs to find another niche quick. He has a nice voice. But he can't rely on the: Turn the female sung pop song into acoustic folk jam. It's already old and he's only done it 3 times.

8. Lacey Brown. See Didi Benami. Except leave out nice tone and pleasant. And I truly, 100% believe she lip synched her performance this week. How she got away with it, I don't know.

9. Paige Miles. Who?

10. Tim Urban. The one who shouldn't be. He was invited back as an alternate and look how far he's come. He can't sing a note, but the tweens love his muscles and Leif Garrett hair.

11. Katie Stevens. Nice voice. Needs experience. Lots of experience.

12. Aaron Kelly. This kid freaks me out. It looks like he started to grow up, and this his parents put a stop to it and made him get the haircut of an 11 year old. And wise is his nose like that? And will the American Idol make over team fix his eyebrows? He is everything that is wrong with David Archuletta without anything that is right. This is why people under the age of 18 are not allowed to vote for the President.

Seriously, Worst. American Idol Top 12. Ever.