Anyway, American Idol, yeah. What a shitty season so far. No one, and I mean no one, is standing out. Yes, it's only the first week, there are nerves to be had. But think about last season - which I also thought was pretty shitty. Think about what you had that first week. You had Alison Iraheta rocking "Alone". We hadn't heard a peep from her and she comes out and does that. Someone else you hadn't heard from yet is Kris Allen, the eventual winner. He came out doing "Man in the Mirror". Lame song choice, but he still managed to stand out. Then you had Adam Lambert, probably the most talked about contestant ever. He sang something I don't remember, but that doesn't matter. He still made himself noticed.
Now compare that to this week. Who can you see yourself really rooting for this season? Forget about looks. Who has the vocal chops and excitement to keep you watching? The only one who even comes close is Crystal
Bowersox. She is the folky, dreadlocked, bad teeth having, harmonica wearing chick who did "Hand In My Pocket" on Tuesday night. During Hollywood week I really liked her. But, she's coming off a bit snooty, don't ya think? This whole "I've never watched the show before" attitude is getting old. I don't doubt she's never watched, but she says it in such a way that is really negative towards the show (that might eventually earn her millions of dollars), and the people who watch the show. It's nothing she's specifically said, it's more in how she says it. How is she even going to deal with the cheese-tastic group numbers they are forced to do on results nights? Or shill herself out for those horrific Ford commercials they have to do once they reach Top 12?Then there's all the, as Simon calls them, the Adele/Lily Allen/Amy Winehouse wannabes. Seriously, when did every chick start singing like this? It's not natural. Why don't these contestants realize to make it, they need to be different? Yes, in the mainstream Top 40 radio, most of it sounds the same. But for the ones who are really making a name for themselves, they stand out. Or maybe I'm just giving America too much credit. Maybe I'm just thinking about how I view music. I love Amy Winehouse. But I don't want 10 carbon copies of her sitting in my iTunes.
As for the guys, well, I can barely remember any of them. There's the blond guy that Kara is incredibly inappropriate with . But he's really very bland. There's the guy whose parent's were gangsters. He turns every pop song into an acoustic jam. He's got a very good, natural voice. But he seems very one note right now. There's all the young boys/men that Simon seems way too into. What is it with Simon and the young 'uns? I get that as a record executive who is more into the product than the actual music that having someone young and inexperienced to mold into the kind of "artist" that you want them to be is the better deal. But they are just so disposable. Wouldn't he rather have someone who's going to last and earn him money for a long time?
Speaking of all of this, I'm cringe every time Simon has some throwaway comment about how they aren't looking for originality or you can't be too original on this show or that true artistry is pointless on this show. Granted,
yes, It is a glorified karaoke competition. But (here I go again) season 7 showed it could be so much more than that. Seriously, every single one of those who made it to the Top 12 were great musicians - not just singers are piles of clay who can be molded into singers or "stars". It's just such a slap in the face to the David Cooks, Brooke Whites, Michael Johns, Jason Castros, and Carly Smithsons who have been on the show - and really does nothing to help them solidify and legitimize their careers. The show was heading in a good direction, and it's like he's trying to stop that from happening. Stupid Simon.So that's it. Notice I only know one name out of all 24. That's Crystal Bowersox. And most likely I only know that name because she is Michael Slezak at Entertainment Weekly's top pick and he has the chant: Bow-Er-Sox! in my head. Speaking of Mr. Slezak, if you like American Idol at all, you should check out his Idolatry video recaps every week. Good stuff. Probably the only reason I still watch American Idol. Oh, and also for Jacob's recaps at Television Without Pity. God damn he is funny. I know I've mentioned him before. You must read his recaps. His are entertaining even if you haven't watched.
I suppose I should mention the judging changes this season. Namely Ellen DeGeneres (is that even how you spell her last name? I don't know and don't care enough to look it up). She hasn't been as bad as I feared she'd be. She's kept her comedy routine to a minimum. And actually only seems to be bringing it out when things get beyond awkward with the middle section of the judging table: Kara and Randy. These two are such children. The show is not about them, but they don't seem to get that. They just want to be on TV so bad. They just want to be relevant so bad. They suck.
No comments:
Post a Comment