Creeping Back

I've been sick for most of the month and this morning I finally feel like I'm creeping back to the land of the living. I was sick for the first week and a half of January, better for about a week, and have been kicked back down with the flu since last Thursday. It sucks. If you read my blog at all, I don't need to tell you how much I hate being sick. So I won't bore you with that again.

Meanwhile, in my sickened stupor, I've been coming up with a ton of ideas that - if I follow through with them - will definitely keep me busy for the rest of the year. So, I guess 2013 is all taken care of. Honestly, I already have a beginning of an idea for 2014, so I should probably start making my lists and   managing all of this.

But I've not only been stuck in my own head during my illness, I've also put the old Final Fantasy X back in the Playstation 2 and am enjoying revisiting all of my old friends in Spira. It's nice to get lost in something to take your mind off of being sick. It's better than getting lost in movies or TV, too, because I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something. You know, saving a whole world of people and all.

Last Saturday I went to see Erin McKeown perform at The Cedar. Two years ago when she played at The Aster, The Husband and I met up with her post show and ended up giving her a ride back to her hotel. This has lead to me being able to call Erin McKeown, one of my favorite musicians, an acquaintance of mine. She is a delightful person and a truly gifted musician and highly entertaining performer and she put on a wonderful show. It was great to say hello again post-show and I wish her all the best on her trip to Europe. Now go get her new album, MANIFESTRA. Or, really, get them all.

Finally, I've got a music video coming out in a couple of weeks. It's for my song "Can't Even Tell" and it was animated by my dear friend, Rev K. We're throwing a premiere party for the video at the Amsterdam Bar in St. Paul on Friday, Feb. 15th. It's an early show, too. So I hope to see you there!

New Website!

I've got a new website!

You can check it out at www.nikibecker.com .

I did it all myself and I'm pretty proud of it. I added a bunch of new features, including a feed for this blog. So right now this post will seem pretty redundant on there. But that should just force me to write a new post, right?

Let me know what you think. Anything you'd add or change? Any big mistakes you see?

Things I Love Right Now

Hey, I've managed to keep this topic going for 3 months in a row!

1. Beverly Hills, 90210 (original series)

I got the first season of the original (can’t believe I even have to clarify that) Beverly Hills, 90210 for Christmas and while I’ve been sick this past week, I’ve watched the whole thing. My goodness, that’s some fine entertainment. The trip down early 90s memory lane is so much fun. The outfits are just insane. So much neon and biker shorts. I was trying to remember ever wearing anything like that. But then I remembered my first day of school in 5^th grade (which would have been 1990, the same year as the first year of 90210). I got a new outfit: Blue shiny spandex leggings, a multi-colored geometric shape filled shirt and a big cardigan which I wore with white scrunchy socks and my LA Gear high top sneakers. And I LOVED that outfit. So, yeah. The clothes on Beverly Hills, 90210 are accurate for the times.

Anyway, it’s such a fun show. And such a fun show to make fun of. Nobody looks like they are in high school, except maybe David Silver. Donna Martin could possibly pass. Steve Sanders looks like he could be everyone’s father. Dylan and his forehead creases are way too aging. And Andrea…oh, Andrea. You old, lady. These people are supposed to be Juniors in high school. 16-17 years old. That is so not the case.

And I know I grow to hate Kelly (A few years ago I spent an entire summer watching the entire series replayed on SoapNet), like really really hate Kelly. But right now she is so much more enjoyable than Brenda and her pursed lips. God her mouth must be so sore from doing that all of the time. I much prefer when Valerie takes her spot.

2. My Job

My job has changed a lot since I was laid off in November2011. This is the third job I’ve had since then. And I love it. It really is proof that things happen for a reason. I was devastated when I was laid off because I loved where I worked. But this job, this job I really really like. And I like where I work. They’ve been very good to me. It’s nice to like where you go every day.

3. Amanda Palmer’s song “Olly Olly Oxen Free”

Remember how for the past few months all I could talk about was Joanna Newsom’s “Good Intentions Paving Company”? Well, this song is my new obsession. It’s so loud and fun and makes me want to jump around and sing along and play air drums. Seriously, the drums on this track are insane. And, it has great lyrics. 99% of the time that I’m in the car, I throw this song on at top volume. Even if I’m just running to the grocery store.

4. My Husband

I know that sounds weird. Like I’m only loving him right now or something. Of course I love him all the time. But I’ve been sick for the past week and he has taken such good care of me and I just feel so incredibly lucky that he is my husband. He’s awesome.

5. The Bloggess

After reading her book, Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) is my new hero. Which, if you’ve read the book, seems crazy. But sometimes it’s just nice to read that other people have the same thoughts and fears that you do.

6. Prissy Clerks

Prissy Clerks debut album, Bruise or Be Bruised, came out just one day after I wrote my Favorite Albums of 2012 post. If it would have come out the day before or if I would have held off posting, this would definitely had made my top 10. Clara Salyer’s voice is so sweet and so cool. Really, she has such a great voice. The music is reminiscent of early 90s bands like Belly, which I love. Seriously great album. Go get it.

 

 7. Soup with Ritz Crackers

While sick, I ate many bowls of Progresso Vegetable Soup with Noodles and instead of putting saltines or oyster crackers in it, I used Ritz Crackers. O My God. So. Good.

Triple Rock And Body Aches

Since my last post I've played a show and caught a cold.

Let's start with the show.

I played Triple Rock Social Club last Thursday, January 3rd. I had never played there before. It was fun. The stage felt very big. I'm used to being squeezed in very tightly with the band, always being very careful not to trip over chords. But there was plenty of room on the Triple Rock stage. Though, I'm not sure it's really any bigger than other stages I've played on. Just set up differently.

Also on the bill was Vonnie Kyle (who is currently promoting a Kickstarter. Check it out HERE) and Roe Family Singers, who are just about one of the best groups in town.

Set list for Triple Rock 1/3/13

• Good
• Float
• Flavor
• The Woods
• Lens
• Good to Know
• Beg, Borrow, or Steal
• Introvert
• Adore

Then I woke up the next day and felt like shit.

I felt it coming on all week and I am so grateful it held out until after my show. But, as I always say, being sick is the worst. I went to work the morning of the 4th and left in the afternoon and have not been back. I have done nothing since then. I've either been in bed or in my favorite chair watching TV. I finished Beverly Hills, 90210 season one (original series) that I got for Christmas. I'm now rewatching Community. Again. And I downloaded new episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia along with old favorite X-Files episodes to watch on my phone in bed (as we have no TV in there).

Besides some congestion and occasional bouts of overly warmness, most of the cold is gone. Except the horrible body aches and headache. I have had a headache since Friday. And my whole body is in so much pain. I woke up at 4am with shooting pains all over and had to get up and do some stretches to try to work it out.

It hurts. Bad.

And, it mostly hurts because I haven't been able to move around much these past few days, so I'm all stiff. But now I'm so stiff that doing anything is incredibly painful. Even lying down.

So. Very. Lame.

But I need to be better soon because I'm going to the Caroline Smith and the Good Night Sleeps show on Thursday and I have very much been looking forward to it for a while now. And then I have a happy hour for 2 departing co-workers on Friday and it's the Best New Bands show at First Avenue on Friday. And I'm just really sick of doing nothing.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened

I just finished Jenny Lawson's (aka The Bloggess) book Let's Pretend This Never Happened. For a memoir of a blog writer that I only started reading this past year, it really got me thinking. 

The book, like all memoirs, tells stories from defining moments in her life. They are stories that at the time they happened probably felt traumatic and life ending (like when she got her arm stuck in cow's vagina), but then you look back and laugh. Those kind of stories. And you do laugh. Because it's a funny book.

I started thinking about my upbringing and how it is somewhat outside the norm and how I've always thought about writing these tales down. The ones I can remember. Which are shockingly few. But none of them are all that funny. No matter how I try to spin it. They are just kind of sad. Like a 6 year old girl's mother lying in a hospital bed in the living room while she dies of breast cancer so she can be with her family during her final months. Or a drunk father throwing empty beer boxes at her friends.

There were a few funny moments in there. Like when my brother snuck a firecracker into one of my sister's cigarettes that she kept hidden in her nightstand. Every night she would sneak a cigarette and every night my brother would lie in bed waiting for her to get to the "special" one. And then one day she did. And luckily she still has a face.

There are snippets of other times: Same brother - annoyed with me complaining that I wanted his Snickers and not my Three Musketeer bar  - just switched the wrapper and I was happy. Or how I refused to ride the swings at the park because they had "bird chit" on them. Or how I thought my sister was actually going to really take me to prom with her and I got all dressed up in a flower girl dress from a wedding I was in (and truthfully, I wasn't even in that wedding but they bought me a flower girl dress anyway because I wanted to be in it and was jealous and was such a brat), posed for pictures with her and her date and then freaked the fuck out when I didn't get to go along.

Okay. That last one was sad. And, also, I don't remember exactly what kind of candy bars we were having. I mean who remembers those kinds of details? Memoirs always must be embellished, right? 

And then there is the overall theme of the book and that is Jenny's General Anxiety Disorder (her doctor's diagnosis). Not just social anxiety, but general anxiety about everything. She starts talking about situations she's in and how she reacts to them and I can't help but see a bit of myself in those situations. Any sort of social function tends to make me freak out a bit - and I know that's true for most people, I think. But I absolutely cannot have a conversation with anyone that I haven't known for at least 10 years and that I see on a regular basis. Which really limits the people I can converse with down to, like, 5 people. There are people that I consider friends - close friends even - that if I'm left alone with them, I get super uncomfortable and nervous as I get so worried that I will say something wrong that will make them dislike me. It's awful. I feel like I'm coming across as trying too hard, which I probably am, because I am. And nobody likes a try hard.  

I would say that I have nowhere near the eccentricities that The Bloggess has. Though maybe I would if I was more comfortable with myself and wasn't so concerned with what every last person thought about me. I admire her ability to just be herself in any situation. And I know that the fear of being herself in social situations makes her act the way she does, but she does it anyway and she's turned it into a positive and made a career out of it. 

Either way, the book has inspired me to try to just be myself - even if myself is the brooding girl who sits in the corner and talks to no one. And to try to remember moments from my past and write them down when I do remember them. It'd be a nice project to get that all down and look back and reflect. 

So thanks, Jenny. I enjoyed your book. It was a really good read and I highly recommend it to others. 

Here We Go...

Welcome to 2013! Back to the regularly scheduled schedule. Back to alarm clocks and desk jobs. It was really really hard to get up and get to work today. I feel the worst for my dog, though. He’s been with us since just before Thanksgiving and so he was only starting to get used to our schedule between the Thanksgiving and Christmas weeks. But then The Husband was off work for 2 weeks for the holiday break and so the poor dog I’m sure has completely forgotten what our schedule is really like. It’s going to be a shock for him today. I feel terrible and just want to go home and cuddle with him.

There’s so much to do and so many things I had been putting off until now. Feeling overwhelmed. I need a vacation.

Here are 25 songs playing on my iPod that are getting me through this first day back.

1.  "The Day is Coming" - My Morning Jacket

2. "For All the Little Things" - Fort Wilson Riot

3. "Sad Baby" - Haley Bonar

4. "We R Ctrl" - Gramma's Boyfriend

5. "That's Just What Happened" - Erin McKeown

6. "Animal" - Jenny and Johnny

7. "Bobbing for Apples" - Regina Spektor

8. "Transmission of Robert Hoodin" - Gifts or Creatures

9. "Ballad of a Flickering Flame" - Southside Desire

10. "Green Fields" - The Good, The Bad, & The Queen

11. "NY" - Flight

12. "Money"- Haley Bonar

13. "Jonathan" - Fiona Apple

14. "The Next Messiah" - Jenny Lewis

15. "Say Something" - James

16. "Pretty Bird" - Jenny Lewis

17. "Green to Grey" - Caroline Smith & The Good Night Sleeps

18. "Trout Heart Replica" - Amanda Palmer

19. "On & On" - Erykah Badu

20. "An Innocent Fiction" - Erin McKeown

21. "Puppets" - Atmosphere

22. "Philharmonics" - Agnes Obel

23. "Don't You Know" - Pulp

24. "Ruin" - Cat Power

25. "Skinny Love" - Bon Iver