MTV "Video" "Music" "Awards"

The earliest MTV Video Music Awards I remember watching live was back in 1988. I don't know how into it I was, as the only performance I remember seeing was Guns N' Roses performance of "Welcome to the Jungle".

I don't care what you say, they were an amazing band.

Being that I was 9, I wasn't quite into them yet. That would be another year or so.

1989 was the first year I was really into the Video Music Awards. Though looking back at the performances, I'm shocked I cared so much. The Cult, Cher, Rolling Stones...as a 10 year old, that's not an enticing mix. But I was really into Paula Abdul at the time and Arsenio Hall was hosting and they were rumored to be together and even back then, my attention to gossip was strong, so I was very excited for her performance.

I tried and tried to learn those dance moves.

1991 was probably the most memorable. R.E.M. won award after award for "Losing My Religion", with Michael Stipe removing and revealing a different t-shirt each time they went up to accept their moon man, though Pee Wee Herman stole the show right off the bat, making his first public appearance after getting caught masturbating in a theater spouting the line: "Heard any good jokes lately?"

Bands like Metallica and Guns N' Roses and Van Halen still performed. Your pop stars were the likes of Mariah Carey and Paula Abdul. L.L. Cool J was THE rapper and this was as cheesy as it got:

Admittedly, this is very cheesy.

So what am I getting at?

Last night was the 2011 VMAs and this was the big winner:

Looking up this video and checking it out before posting is my first encounter with Katy Perry. Don't get me wrong, I've seen her all over the blogs. I know she's a good Christian girl who just happens to be married to Russell Brand.

But this is the video of the year? An auto-tuned mess of a song with a message about being a firework?

Okay, take away the song. This is the "video" music awards. Or excuse me, the VMAs (just like KFC, MTV can't false advertise anymore).

What is this video? Why is it the winner? I don't understand. There is nothing of interest happening here.

To put this in perspective, let's look at some of the past Video of the Year winners, shall we?

1984: The Cars - "You Might Think"

1986: Dire Straits - "Money for Nothing"

1990: Sinead O'Connor - "Nothing Compares 2 U"

1991: R.E.M. - "Losing My Religion"

1992: Van Halen - "Right Now"

1993: Pearl Jam - "Jeremy"

1994: Aerosmith - "Cryin"

1995: TLC - "Waterfalls"

1997: Jamiroquai - "Virtual Insanity"

1999: Lauryn Hill - "Doo Wop (That Thing)"

2003: Missy Elliot - "Work It"

2004: Outkast - "Hey Ya"

All iconic videos. Sure there have been a few duds along the way, but for the most part, the videos have been worthy winners.

So is the Katy Perry video a dud/mistake or a generational thing? It certainly doesn't seem like a mistake since people aren't shocked by the win. I mean, when Neil Young won way back when, people were stunned.

That makes me think it's a generational thing and I'm finally too old for this shit.

For example, I don't understand how this could be a heartthrob:

I know my Teen Idol was not exactly a snazzy dresser either:

But at least he had facial hair.

This is probably the first time where I've never heard the music of over 3/4 of the nominees and when I clicked on the red carpet pics this morning, I knew maybe a handful of names.

In the interest of trying to know what I'm talking about, I've explored some of these artists and all I can say again is...I don't get it.

I understand and like Lady GaGa. Britney Spears is a special gal and she has some fun songs. Beyonce is The Queen and nobody messes with her. Everybody likes Adele.

I can see why young girls like Katy Perry.

But...Justin Beiber? Kreayshawn??? LMFAO????? Fucking Chris Brown?????? Yes, let's hero worship the guy who beat his girlfriend to a bloody pulp. That will be a good lesson for everyone.

Even in my younger days, I appreciated the music that I may not have liked. I had friends who listened to Cannibal Corpse. Is it really just the music you're exposed to as a teen is the music that can do no wrong? Or is it what I really think which is popular music today really really sucks?

I'm going with the latter. Now get off my lawn.