Saturday, August 4, 2012

The Night Befores

The night before big life events are so weird. I spend all day just waiting to go to bed so that I can wake up and have it be the day of the event. I'm such a worrier that up to that moment I go to bed the night before, I still believe something is going to go wrong - usually related to my health. I just want to wake up, have it be the day of the event and know, okay, this is how I feel. This is what the weather is going to be like. This is what I know and this is how the day is going to go.

Last night was the night before my CD release party. But it was also my ten year wedding anniversary. I wish I could have celebrated properly - we did go out and get dessert - but I knew that I had to be in top shape today. I plan to celebrate both events properly tonight.

I'm in a really weird headspace right now. It's 11:47. The doors open for the show in 8 hours and 13 minutes. It seems like a long time from now, but I also have a lot to do beforehand. I need to eat something. That's important. I need to get ready. I need to meet up with my band and run through the  set one more time. I need to get to the venue and load everything in and set everything up.

And I need to remember to breathe.

It's been such a huge week. I feel like tomorrow I'm going to collapse.

The album got a really great review over on the 89.3 Local Current blog. It's my first official album review...and it's a good one...which is a relief.

It's all so very surreal.

I think back 10 years ago and, well, two days ago now, to the night before my wedding. Another night that I just wanted to get to bed and wake up to know that I would be in good health (I was) and that the weather would be nice (it wasn't). It was a chaotic day full of crazy emotions. Some things didn't go as I planned. But what did happen was that all those things that went unplanned ended up making things better. It was memorable.

I'm feeling calmer today. I know once I get to the venue that I will start to freak out a bit. Things will be chaotic for a while with load-in, set-up, sound checks.

But what I need to remember from my wedding day is that it all goes by so quickly. My wedding reception is a blur. All those months of planning and then suddenly it's over.

I need to remember that tonight. I need to remember to just breathe, take it all in, and enjoy myself.

Because no matter what happened on my wedding day, I was still married to my wonderful husband at the end of the night.

And no matter what happens tonight, my album is still out there and people will here it.

Now, time to get some food.

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