Wednesday, March 11, 2009

America...It's Your Top Twelve!

American Idol's Top 12 - or, wait, Top 13 - started this week. They are on the big stage now and I am still entirely unimpressed. I think last season just spoiled me into thinking this could be an actual legitimate talent show instead of just another reality show being "casted" for entertainment purposes. Those were Simon's words, not mine. Yes, he finally admitted that the show is not based on talent, but on what role you fit in the season. He also said last night that you can be artistic, but not on this show. I think that's quite the slap in the face to last year's contestants, who were the most artistic bunch they've ever had.

Having said that, it almost seems like they are "casting" this season as the Bizarro World to last season. Just look at the cast members:

We'll start with Adam Lambert. He has the same rock n' roll swagger and flat ironed hair of David Cook, but he sounds like a lost member of Ratt and his sexy stares to the camera make me feel like I'm being violated, not seduced. Also, he doesn't play an instrument like Cook, but he seems to find ways to play with himself during his performances. He just really grosses me out.



Kris Allen (who? Exactly) is the safer version of Jason Castro. They just took Jason, cut off his dreads, sent him to bible camp, and then stuck him on stage to sing Michael Jackson two weeks in a row.




Danny Gokey is David Archuletta all grow'd up. Except, somehow, he is way more saccharine, cheesy, and Mormon. And he's not even Mormon (I don't think). The producers somehow think of him as the perfect combination of Archuletta and Cook. This is such an insult to Cook - and Archuletta, for that matter. This guy bugs me more than anyone I have ever seen on my television. He has frames for his glasses to match each outfit he owns. What's with that? Ugh. Hate.

Jasmine wants to be Syesha Mercado. She really does. She will keep singing the big boring ballads that nobody has ever heard before, opening her mouth wider and wider because that somehow means she has a powerful voice even though the note she was attempting to sing is long lost and found it's way to her nose.




Alexis Grace is another in the long line of white girls who think they sing like black women, ala Carly Smithson. Shouting into a mic does not equal having a big powerful voice no more that opening your mouth really wide does. She has a 3 note range that she shouts into something more. Funny thing, though, I actually like her. I think she should just take it down a notch.

The rest of the season's cast is pretty forgettable. So much so, that none of them are coming to mind....except Anoop Desai. Even though he is not living up to expectations, I still like him. He just seems like a really cool, funny, smart guy to hang out with. And he can sing. And he doesn't take himself seriously. And he has fun on stage.

It looks like on tonight's results show two cast members are going home. There is also another surprise twist involving the judges. Rumor has it that the judges will ask the bottom two (or four or three) do a sing off and they will decide who goes home. I really dislike this idea as it takes away the voter's choice and it makes it that much easier for the judges to get their Chosen One(s) to the finale.

Lost is not on tonight for a reason that no one can seem to tell me. I thought the whole point of starting in January and shortening the seasons was so there were no breaks between episodes. So what gives? It's pissing me off.

But, I guess that gives me more time to watch America's Next Top Moron (makeover episode!) and the as for mentioned American Idol results show.
In Other News...

I'm currently reading Sula by Toni Morrison. This is my third Toni Morrison book (Beloved and Jazz being the other two) and it just reinforces my realization that she is going to be my favorite writer. Her books are like poetry. I wish I could describe things the way she can. I can't even describe why I like her so much. Her books are just so beautiful in a really heartbreaking and ugly way. Like, how life and the world is. Like how someone who has been through a lot and been a lot of places and seen a lot of things might have a face a bit more weathered and wrinkled than someone their own age, but it just makes them all the more beautiful because you know they have stories to tell. Does that make sense? I read her books and I am inspired to write, but then I sit down and realize there is a reason she is Toni Morrison and I am not.

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