Thursday, March 19, 2009

Lost, Episode 9 "Namaste"

The first question I have from last night's episode is: Where is Faraday? What did Sawyer Jim James LeFluer mean when he answered Jack's question of "Is Faraday here?" with "Not anymore." Where did he go???? And is he still wearing a tie?

We are back on the plane. Not the very first plane, but the second plane carrying our Oceanic 6 or 4 or 5 or whatever the number is. We get some nice shots of the passengers enjoying their nice little flight and waiting for the impending doom. (Imagine how intense it would be to be on a flight you knew was destined to crash. ) Frank's co-pilot mentions how he recognized Hurley as one of the Oceanic 6 (because who wouldn't recognize Hurly) and how odd it is that he got back on a flight travelling over the Pacific. Frank looks around mysteriously and then...the engines fail followed by a big flash of bright white light.

Frank's awesome piloting skills kick in and he brings the plane to a relatively safe landing. You have to wonder, though, how awesome a pilot he is that he knows how to crash land so well. If he was really that awesome, would he be crashing all the time?

They touch down on, what looks like, a sandy runway. He tries to slow the plane down, but are stopped, instead, by a hillside. After the impact, Frank looks to his co-pilot and sees him dead, impaled by a large tree branch.

He stumbles to the passenger portion of the plane. In first class, he only sees Sun, Caesar, the FBIchick, and a couple of other nameless people stumbling around. They all wonder where the rest of the O6 are. A voice comes up from behind, "They're gone." It's Ben. Well, duh, Ben. Way to state the obvious.

"Thirty Years Earlier" (that's what flashed on the screen)

We're back to where we left off last episode with Sawyer staring at Hurley, Jack , and his PreciousKate. Eventually someone moves and it's Hurley and he hugs Sawyer and Sawyer tells him to "ease up, Kong" and this makes Hurley's big heart burst with love because he has missed those nicknames so much. Jack walks up and, the douche that he is, just shakes his hand in a nice to do business with you way. Then Kate sidles up looking incredibly manly in a Linda Hamilton/Terminator 2 way and just asking to be made out with. They hug.

Since Jin's English is not quite good enough to explain what the hell is going on with this show and time travel (my English isn't even good enough for that), Sawyer brings them up to speed and explains to them that they are in the year 1977 and Sawyer and Jin have had to join the Dharma initiative to survive.

Sawyer then tries to get some information from Jack which is like trying to squeeze water from a rock. How did you get here? Where is John? How did he survive? Jack tells him none of that is important. Really? None of it? He does tell them that Sayid, Ben, and Sun also came back, but he doesn't know where they are. Jin grabs the jeep and takes off into the jungle to try to find the downed plane and his lovely wife.

Sawyer tells them to wait there and he is going to head back to camp and figure things out.

He gets back to his house and finally tells Juliette what is going on. You can see her soul being crushed by the thought of Kate being back and taking away her lovely little Dharma life with Sawyer. But, she decides to help because she has to and tells him there is a submarine full of new recruits coming in today (how convenient!) and they can get them into camp by saying they are new recruits. Sawyer grabs a bunch of clothes and heads back to the O6 (or O3 right now). Magically he has a sweatshirt large enough for Hurley. I like to think there was a time after joining Dharma that Sawyer got a little too comfortable and enjoyed all the Dharma food a little too much and let himself go a bit.

He explains to them that they will have to pretend to be new recruits. On the way to the sub, Sawyer explains some more things that I can't remember. He mentions Faraday and this is where my first question I mentioned above comes into play. Where is he? Where has he gone? This show needs his nerdy little quiet speaking self.

Meanwhile, Jin heads over to Radzinsky's hatch. I feel like I'm supposed to know who he is, but I don't. His hatch, however, is the same hatch that the eye patch guy lived in and that Locke blew up. Jin asks if a plane crash has happened. The guy is like, dude, if a plane crashed on the island, I think we'd all know. And he's right. But Jin is still all pissy and demands for the guy to call around to the other hatches. So he does.

And now we're going to flash forward/back/over/whatever to the plane crash peeps. Everyone is stumbling around and getting their bearings. Frank lies and says he doesn't know where they landed. Or, I guess technically he's telling the truth because no one knows where the island is. A nameless passenger points out that there are animal cages and old buildings on the island and that there is a larger island just around the corner and then I realize 2 things: 1) God dammit why are we being forced to deal with all of these nameless extras again? Including the guy from the show October Road that I used to love guiltily and that they took off the air without answering any of the hanging questions. 2) Holy crap! They're on the smaller island and maybe they are in 1977 like everyone else and Sun will find Jin and they will live happily ever after in their trippy little Dharma home.

Sun sees Ben wander off into the woods. She follows him. Frank sees Sun leave and follows her. They all meet somewhere in the middle. Ben says there are some canoes (!) on the island that he is going to use to get to the larger island. He says Sun came come with him. Frank asks if she trusts Ben. Sun says yes and they head to the boats. They get to the beach and Frank begs her to stay and not trust him. Sun asks him to come along. Frank says, as a pilot, he has to stay with the plane and passengers. Ben turns to him and spouts some crap and then tells them how he is going to get to the island and where he is going to land and then Sun knocks him upside the head with an oar.

Back in Dharmaville.....

Jin is still pressuring the guy about the plane when an alarm goes off. Someone has broken through the secured perimeter (this secured perimeter is turning out to not be so secure). Must be a Hostile! But we all know it won't be, right. Jin goes running out to the jungle followed closely by Radzinsky. He stumbles upon....a handcuffed Sayid!!! Jin looks happy but then Radzinsky shows up and Jin has to point a gun at Sayid and pretend he's a Hostile. They bring him back to the hatch.


Sayer and the O3 have arrived back at the Barracks where a big recruitment day celebration is happening. Sawyer explains to Jack, Kate, and Hurly how to act as new recruits. They are all dressed in these cute little late 70s outfits. He leads them to a building where they will be checked in. Juliette has managed to snag the submarine manifests and add the O3 names to it.

OH! I almost forgot to mention! So, Michelle Dressler - okay...Amy - is the one who is normally in charge of signing in the new recruits. But since she just had a baby yesterday, Juliette offers to do it for her. When Juliette goes to see her, she asks what she named her baby boy. And she named him: Ethan!!! Juliette is holding little Ethan when she says this and you can see her get a little grossed out, as I would, holding someone as a baby that you know as an adult. But, here's the thing: Ethan's last name is Rom. I know neither Amy or Horace have that last name. So are the writer's reaching here? Why does he have a completely different last name? But...whatever.

Anyhoo....Jack, Hurly, and Kate all go to get checked in. Jack sits down for his "interview". His new uniform says "Workman". Jack is confused about this and the interviewer tells him that his aptitude test says he would make an excellent Janitor. HA! So funny. Not that there's anything wrong with being a Janitor, but you know this is a huge insult to Dr. Jack Shepard.

Kate is standing by looking ohsopretty. A man comes up to her and asks her her name. He says she's not on the manifest. She starts to panic. But then Juliette turns up and says she has an updated list with Kate on it and I love that Juliette totally did this on purpose to make Kate sweat. I'm starting to really like Juliette.

Sawyer gets a call on his walkie talkie from Jin. He tells him about Sayid. Sawyer leaves to go help Jin out.
Jin and Radzinsky have put Sayid in a closet. Sawyer brings him out for "questioning", but really he's trying to explain to him what's going on by telling him he has to admit to being a hostile due to the truce otherwise they will have to kill him. Sayid admits to it and they bring him back to the barracks and lock him up.

Back on plane crash island....

It is dark and Sun and Frank are back at the canoes. They make it to the pier on the other island. And right away we know something is wrong. The lights over the pier are all rusty and knocked over. It's looking very Camp Crystal Lake. In fact, this whole scene plays out like a horror movie. Sun and Frank slowly make their way up the pier. They see something that would have to be quite large moving around in the trees (Smokey?). As they make their way to the camp, we realize that they are not in 1977 like everyone else. They are standing in the same spot as Jack/Kate/Hurly were being recruited, but everything is run down. Windows are boarded up. Signs are falling down. Metal is rusted. And I am sad. No Sun/Jin reunion. A light turns on in one of the cottages. The door slowly creeps open and I wholly expect to see Jason Voohries standing there because I am totally creeped out. But it's not Jason. No. It is Christian Shepard, who is just as creepy. Sun calmly asks him if he knows Jin. He tells her to follow him. She agrees to follow the creepy man living alone in some abandoned cottages in the middle of the jungle on a deserted island. He takes her to the recruitment room and pulls a group photo off the wall from 1977. He tells Sun that Jin is with her friends. She's all "Whaaaaat?" He shows her a picture. There is Kate, Jack , and Hurley all smiles in the new recruit photo.

Is that the end?


Back in Dharmaville....

I left some things out. When Sawyer brought Sayid back to camp, Jack saw this and looked all pissed. So now, he's wandering around looking for Sawyer's house to ask him what the hell.

Jack is pointed towards Sawyer's house, but when he knocks on the door, Juliette answers. They hug and smile and he apologizes for going to the wrong house. She says, nope, you're in the right house and opens the door and there is Sawyer reading a book and relaxing. Oh, snap! It all starts to click in Jack's tiny janitorial brain. No Juliette for you! Jack asks about Sayid and what Sawyer plans to do and then gets all pissy because Sawyer is reading and not running around frantically getting everyone killed which Sawyer then totally owns Jack and says basically that all Jack ever did was react and it managed to get a lot of people killed and that Sawyer is a thinker and he is reading to relax his mind so the answer will come. Jack gets that dumb look he always gets and says that Sawyer is wrong because he got everyone off the island and I'm left thinking: no you didn't! Sawyer, Juliette, John, Miles, Faraday, Charlotte, Claire, Bernard, Rose, Vincent, and Jin were all left behind. Everyone else died. You got PreciousKate off the island and a couple of other people so shut up, Jack. Sawyer agrees with me and tells Jack to get lost. He then steps outside and sees Kate standing on her porch, watching his house. He waves politely. She waves back with a look on her face like she doesn't understand why he hasn't made out with her yet even though she just had sex with Jack the day before.

We then cut to the jail where Sayid is being kept. Someone is approaching the cell with a bag of food. He gives it to Sayid. They start to chat and Sayid asks the kid his name. "I'm Ben." Duh-duh-duhhhhhhhhhhh.

The end.

Gotta say they did one heck of a job casting young Benjamin Linus:

I think I know why Sun and Ben did not flash back in time. Is it because there are already versions of them there? Ben's tween self. And maybe Sun is Dr. Chang's baby? Maybe? Huh? You think?

I don't know anymore.

All I want is for the following things to happen:

1. Desmond and Penny live happily ever after.
2. Sawyer and Juliette live happily ever after.
3. Number 2 happens because Juliette gives Kate the beatdown of her life while Sawyer stands there laughing.
4. Sun and Jin have the most beautiful heartwrenching reunion ever.
5. Jack spends the rest of his years cleaning Dharma toilets.

This is my ideal ending.

No comments: