Silhouette

(for my mother)

i see you through the window
your silhouette against the wall
the white paint has never been touched or changed
because the kids kept coming
and the grass kept growing
and it was just more comforting to have it stay the same
i am looking up at you
i am shocked by your frame
you haven't started to wilt yet
your figure is full
your hair is there
 you let me play with it
i stick in barrettes and curlers
you look ridiculous and you laugh
though i can't hear it
i remember this house as you
everything and everyone else are just pieces of the memory
they swirl around you in a haze as you
prominent
stand in the middle of it all like a pillar of light
a symbol of unity that we used to have
proof that we were once a family and we did family things
like dinner at 6 o'clock
and birthday parties
and wrapped christmas presents
and easter egg hunts
i remember that house as you
it was never as grand as it appeared
it held us all there
we slept in it's care
peacefully together
and you
in my mind
a silhouette fading with time
your voice is already gone
i try to remember your features through my own
our mouths sort of match
but our resemblance is small