The Reasons All Have Run Away, But The Feeling Never Did

Sometimes I will hear a song that I’ve heard a billion times before and it will just make me stop and sit and stare and soak it in. I love when this happens. It’s happening right now with Bright Eye’s “Lua”:

I love this song and it has a very sweet meaning to me that I refuse to share because it’s so special. So I’ve always loved this song and it’s not that I love it more at this moment, but it just stopped me in my tracks right now with its beautiful simplicity. I want to put it on repeat and never stop listening to it because right now it is warming my heart in a way that I can’t even begin to explain.

There’s a lot of this going on right now with songs that had sort of just become songs I know that are now holding me hostage when I hear them. I don’t think I’ve experienced so much change in a single span of time than I have in the past 18 months. Everything is different now and these songs from the past sort of keep me in check and remind of all the things that brought me to where I am today – wherever that is.

Tomorrow is my last day off of work where I will be in our house with all the freedom in the world to crank the stereo as loud as it can go and sing at the top of my lungs and not have to worry about others. And I plan to do both of those things. The stereo will go on as soon as I get up and it will be loud and I will listen to all of my favorite songs as loud as I can. Then I will turn to my own guitar and play and sing with everything I can.  Because the next time I will be in a new place and the music will have to be quieter and I’ll have to work on my own songs a little quieter.

Luckily, all of my new songs are super sad quiet ditties about my dead dog and grieving. So that should help with the transition.

Can’t you just wait to hear them??? (sarcasm)

This morning I also heard “Bankrupt On Selling” by Modest Mouse. It had been a while. It also stopped me in my tracks. I always loved this song, too. This one brings me right back to being 20 years old and living in my first apartment in the city.

I should start making a playlist for tomorrow.