Annie

I went out last night for a happy hour. When I got home, I was desperate for something to chill out to while I sobered up a bit and ate some dinner. I chose the movie Annie.

I had wanted to watch some TV on DVD, but I’ve exhausted my collection and just could not even consider watching Arrested Development for the umpteenth time – no matter how much I love it.

So, I put Annie in the DVD player. It has been ages since I last watched it, but it was a pretty big movie to me in my youth. I loved to sing along to all the songs.

The first thing that struck me watching it this time around is how much of an impact it had on me. Within the first 5 minutes of the movie, I heard so many phrases that I use in my daily life today.

The second thing that struck me was how sad it made me. I mean, sure, it’s a movie about orphans. I guess it shouldn’t be a jolly good time. Except, it’s kind of supposed to be. Miss Hannigan and all of our drunkness, the adorable girls singing and dancing and doing silly things, little orphan Annie and her precociousness….

….but the opening scene made me cry. There’s Annie sadly singing out the window a song about parents that abandoned her, wondering what they might be like: “betcha he’s rich, betcha she sews, betcha she’d make me a closet of clothes” while her orphan family lay in their beds looking sad and alone.

Heartbreaking.

Then drunk Miss Hannigan comes stumbling in and makes them get to work and you realize these children are being cared for by a drunk who only cares about the government money they bring in. They have no one but each other.

Annie sneaks out one day and comes across a dog with cans tied to its tail being chased by a group of hooligan boys. I can’t tolerate animal abuse – even in movies. It just makes me so angry. Once again, the tears started to come. But, oh, look at tough little Annie beating up those boys to save the dog…who she then tries to shoo away and who then is almost taken away by the dog catcher until Annie, once again, jumps in to save him, probably seeing the parallel in this dog’s life and hers.

She brings him back to the orphanage and tries to hide him from Miss Hannigan with no luck. Miss Hannigan says she’s going to put Annie in the paddle room and Sandy (the newly named dog) to the sausage factory.

1. The Paddle Room???? What is that???? What happens there???? Does she have someone on hand just to paddle these poor girls????
2. The Sausage Factory???? Did they make sausage out of dogs back then???? I know times were tough, but gross. Surely it was an empty threat meant to scare Annie…but still….

Then in comes Grace, secretary extraordinaire to Mr. Warbucks, the Billionaire. Mr. Warbucks wants to bring in an orphan to live with him for a week. A week. Just a week.

Annie is the chosen one and she and Sandy get swept away to the Warbuck’s estate where she is shown the amazing life she’ll get to live for a week.

Just a week.

What kind of cruel joke is it to bring a sad 10 year old orphan into your ridiculously extravagant home where you have people on hand whose only purpose it to make your bed or lay out your clothes and then send her back to her shitty abusive orphanage where she is forced to clean toilets and eat cold mush every day? Who thought that was a good idea? I mean, this is supposed to be for PR purposes for Mr. Warbucks. What kind of PR would he have when he dropped her back off a week later? Would he at least donate some of his billions to fix up the orphanage and hire a replacement for Miss Hannigan or would he just return the orphan to their squalor?

I don’t think you thought your cunning plan all the way through.

I stopped watching after the big musical number where the staff shows Annie just how awesome living at Warbucks Estate is. One, because I had to go to bed. But, two, I just was watching it a little too logically and couldn’t buy into it anymore.

But, we all know how this story goes. Mr. Warbucks can’t help but fall for the darling little Annie and ends up adopting her after a series of crazy events. He also falls for his secretary and they all live happily ever after.

Except…what about the other orphans? I know Miss Hannigan gets arrested. But did they fix up the orphanage? Are the girls all going to have a nice place to live while they wait for the parents that will probably never come?

Heartbreaking.