Happy Birthday, Mom

Today is my mom's birthday. She would have been 73 today. She died over 23 years ago.

I was six years old when she died. I remember that day very clearly. She had been sick for most of my life...well, all of my life. I've been told she had cancer while pregnant with me. I've also been told she was on chemo while pregnant with me and that I was a "miracle baby". Allegedly the doctors told my mother to abort me because I would most certainly be fucked up due to all the radiation being poured into my developing fetus. But she refused and out I came as perfect as can be. I say allegedly because this all sounds pretty far fetched and I'm almost certain it is a story my family made up to make me feel better about things.

She died just a few days before Christmas on December 20th. My eldest sister gathered us around the kitchen to break the news. My brother took it the hardest. He was about 12 years old. He was really into eating baby food at the time. He took the jar and threw it on the ground, then ran upstairs to his room. I remember hearing him pounding on the floor and wailing. He was always a momma's boy. He was her only son.

I took the news fairly well. My niece was with me. She is more like a sister to me. We are about the same age and grew up like sisters. We snuck away from the table and went to watch tv. We had a bag of chips. I remember eating them so slowly and thinking that I should be doing something. Crying, screaming like my brother...but I couldn't do anything. At one point, I recall my niece asking me if I was okay. I think I just nodded my head and went back to watching tv.

Later that day, my dad and I drove to the hospital to see her. It strikes me as odd, now, that they just left her in her room. Being that I was only six, it may just be my poor memory recalling exact details. But, I swear, my sister told us she died that morning, and dad and I drove to the hospital that night. Either way, once we were there, everyone left dad and I alone in the room. She was laying on her hospital bed and her eyes were still open and very yellow. I'm starting to wonder if this took place the night before she died....that would make sense. I crawled up on the bed and said my goodbye. I remember feeling a little scared. Then dad started crying and I walked to the otherside of the curtain. Dad was openly weeping at this point - bawling. I had never heard him like that before. He kept telling her how much he loved her. I left them alone.

That was the last time I saw her.

My dad would not let me go to the funeral. This infuriated my sisters. But, I'm thankful for it. My last memory of her is not in a coffin, but in a hospital bed. That's a lot better then seeing your mom in a coffin. I think my sisters still hold it against him to this day.

I have a lot of other fleeting memories of her that I try to hang onto.

She volunteered at my school library when I was in kindergarten. I have a very quick flash memory of her smiling at me as we walked through the library. I was so proud of her.

She used to let my niece and I do horrible things to her hair. We called it "Beauty Shop". I'm sure she had other names for it, but she let us do it.

She was stern. My dad was the one I could get to do what I wanted. She was the disciplinarian.

She was always singing. She would sing to me and rock me to sleep up until she died. Her favorite song was "Amazing Grace". She would sing to me the song that goes "You're the end of the rainbow, my pot of gold..."

There are other memories. Random ones of her doing laundry or making dinner. But they do fade more each day.

I miss her. Very much. I wonder how different my life would be if she had lived.

What Goes On?

The title of this entry comes from a now cancelled show called October Road. October Road was the story of a young writer who comes back to his home town after the release of his first novel, which is based on his home town. Some people are offended, some flattered. But, none of that really matters. The real story was about the writer's high school sweetheart and her now 10 year old son. It had been 10 years since the writer had been home, and well, he was a bit suspicious. This was the overarching mystery in the show. Who is the baby daddy? Apparently, mommy got around a bit after the writer left and there were a lot of possibilities. Unfortunately, the show was cancelled before the babydaddy was revealed. This mystery bothers me to this day. I will never know the answer. It sucks.

What does this have to do with anything? Nothing, really. Except, now that my must watch TV has ended for the year, I've come to realize how much my shows control my life. It's sad, really. I know. October Road has also aided in me not watching any new programming for fear that it will be cancelled. Why get attached to a TV show that will end without warning, leaving you hanging? I saw the just released fall TV schedule announcement put out by the major networks. I saw all of the new shows that aren't coming back for a second season. I saw all of the "Save Chuck!" campaigns. Why don't networks let shows season a bit? Why do shows like Arrested Development get tossed aside, but Still Standing still lives on? Although, an argument can be made that Arrested Development lasted for just the right amount of time. Three seasons of awesomeness. It never had a chance to be bad.

I think that's why reality TV is so popular. You can go through a season feeling pretty secure it won't be cancelled midway and you know at the end that at least that one "storyline" will be complete. They won't get one episode from the end and never tell you who was crowned the ultimate Survivor.

Speaking of reality TV, America has crowned their new Idol and it is:

Yes, Kris Allen beat out Adam Lambert in what Ryan Seacrest called the battle of the guy next door vs. guyliner. Because there is no way Adam Lambert could ever live next door to you. The producers were really stretching on that one.

But I am happy with the result. Lambert just didn't do it for me. He kind of skeeved me out - and not because of his possible sexual orientation, but I just hated his facial expressions when he sang. Maybe that's superficial, but oh well. I'm going to see The National next month after falling in love with their music last year and I have never seen them before. Not just live, but ever. No pictures. Nothing. I am terrified that their appearance will completely shatter my illusions and ruin the music.

When I was 14, I fell in love with the song "Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas. I was 14 in 1993, so Kansas was long off the radar. I loved the guy's voice and he sounded really hot. When I would listen to the song, I would picture this tall, lanky fellow with long dirty blonde locks and tight jeans. When my friend's mother showed me their album cover, my vision shattered. He was as far from my vision as he could be. Now, the song is okay. But, something is missing.

I don't expect The National to look like blonde gods - I'm not even into that anymore. I don't know if I ever was, really - but I just worry that they will have some weird performance ticks that will destroy them for me.

So, back to the subject, Adam's facial ticks when he sings really ruined him for me. But, his voice never did it for me either. The "screaming" got old quick, and when he would sing a song simply, he did it in this falsetto that just came off whiny.

Yes, I know that Kris Allen had some interesting facial ticks, but I just liked him. He seemed earnest and when he sang, it came from the heart. Adam was always performing. I don't believe we ever saw the real Adam.

What we did see on the finale was another amazing performance by last year's winner, David Cook. He sang "Permanent" and dedicated it to his brother, Adam Cook, who died from brain cancer just a couple of weeks ago. He then released the performance on iTunes with all proceeds going to the ABCsquared charity which raises money to help find a cure for brain cancer. I highly recommend everyone pick up this song. It's a great song and it's for a good cause.

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It's been so long since my last post, I feel like there should be so much more to talk about, but I don't really do much.

We are just coming off of Memorial weekend. It was a lovely weekend.

Two weeks ago, we picked up Resident Evil 5 for the Xbox. We played that this weekend. Quick review: The graphics are amazing, but I'm not loving it like I did Resident Evil 4. The location never seems to change. You just keep doing the same thing over and over. Occasionally they throw you on a boat or jeep, but it's really just the same. And when did this game stop being scary? The zombies aren't really zombies anymore. They are more like the rage filled zombies from 28 Days Later. There are so many of them all the time, that the effect wears off and the fear is gone.

Saturday we had a haircutting bbq at our house. Some of my lady friends came over and we sat outside while my hairdresser friend gave us all haircuts. My husband served as chef and made a delicious meal and I give him a big round of applause for putting up with the hen party after non of the other menfolk decided to come by.

We also biked to the Turf Club on Saturday night to check out the new It band for the Mpls area: Lookbook. I gotta say, they stink. We first saw them at Art-a-Whirl. They played outside of the 331 Club during the day and I wasn't impressed then. They are a duo - guy and a girl - who play sort of new wave/electro/pop. The guy has a machine and he stands there and presses buttons to make the music and she stands there and sings. Occasionally he will play guitar, but that is it for live instruments on stage. That alone bothered me. I have no problem with electronic music, but then you have to put on one of heck of show - and they don't deliver.

We tried to convince ourselves that it must be the venue, so we went to check them out at the Turf Club where they would be on a proper stage with lighting. They were the last band and they followed to great bands: Kill to Kill and We Are Hex. Both bands fronted by quirky women channeling their goddess, Karen O. Full of energy, high entertainment and live instruments everywhere - even though We Are Hex had a lot of electronic influence and sound effects. Lookbook got onstage with their sound machine and just stood there. It was so boring. A huge letdown. We left.

The rest of the weekend was fairly mellow. Drinks with the neighbors, naps....oh, and I wrote a new song!

I had a couple of hours to myself this weekend, and I spent it with my guitar and Garageband. I dug up some old lyrics of mine and put it all together. It came together really easy. It needs some cleaning up and some additions here and there, but I'm excited about it. It's called "Been In a State". It had been a while since I composed. I missed it. I really need to get my music room in the basement so I can do this more often. Of course, if I ever did, I would never see anyone ever again because I would spend all of my time down there.

I'm going to leave it at that for today. It's almost lunch. I'll be back with more hopefully tomorrow.

Lost Episode 16, "The Incident"

Dear Lost,

I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. Can you ever forgive me? How could I have doubted you? You did it. You made it awesome again. There's still a lot I don't understand, but I no longer care because you gave me two hours of amazing television last night. I know we got a lot of answers last night, though I'm not entirely sure what they all are. I'm also fairly certain that you only left us with one major question. That is much appreciated.

Thanks for an "explosive" night.

Yours Truly,

A Fortunately Devoted Fan Who Cannot Wait Until 2010.

That's it, folks. That was the season 5 finale of Lost....and it was AWESOME. What an amazing two hours of television. So much to go over. So much so that I couldn't possibly do a standard recap. So I'm not. I'm just going to go over all of the talking points that I have that I can think of from last night, starting with.....

Things That Are Awesome

1. Rose and Bernard and Vincent.
This was all I needed to see last night. The whole show could have ended for me and I would be satisfied.

I had watched a teaser interview with the shows producers where they seemingly laughed off any possibility that we would get closure on these characters. I was livid. They made it seem like nobody cared about them, which is so not true. I cared. More than I thought I did. I clapped when I saw Vincent bound out of the brush. When I heard Rose's voice, my eyes teared up. Then Bernard....he's so old, but so awesome (I'm sorry, I'm going to say the word 'awesome' about a million times in this post). To find out that they are "retired" and living happily by the beach. Just an old happy couple and their dog....I couldn't ask for anything more. I loved how Rose made fun of Sawyer, Kate, and Juliette and the whole gang about how all they do is fight. They are just happy to be together and could give no shit if a bomb is about to go off. I love them and they are my second favorite couple on the show. Just behind...

2. Desmond and Penny.
Desmond and Penny did not make an appearance last night. Well, Penny did in a commercial for a new show airing this fall, which leads me to believe her time on Lost is close to over. It occurred to me after the finale was over that we were given closure on their story line when Desmond was in the hospital. He survived. He told Penny he would never leave her again. Was that the end for them? The only reason this is awesome is because I guess I got what I wanted: A happy ending for Desmond and Penny.

3. Hurly not dying.
In one of the many producer interviews I read leading up to the finale, they said that someone major will die and that they will go out in similar fashion to Charlie. The clue they gave as to who was: This person is the physical opposite of Charlie. My mind immediately went to Hurly. His physical build is quite different from Charlie's. These last three or four episodes I have been waiting and waiting for this moment to happen just so I can declare that I will never watch this show again. They can't kill Hurly. He is the heart of this show. But, this piece of awesome news leads me to another list....

Things That Suck

1. Juliette dying.
This show loves to kill its females. But, they keep killing the wrong one. I'm glad she went out in style, possibly saving everyone. I hope she and Sawyer can reconnect in whatever timeline they end up in next year. Her death scene broke my heart. Sawyer broke my heart. Juliette yelling "I love you so much!" broke my heart. Then to show her alive at the bottom of the hole, I just thought, how terrible. I'm sure she thought she would die on impact, but instead, she's stuck bleeding to death down there. What a terrible way to go. I was so very upset. But then she saw the bomb and then she was AWESOME! I love Juliette so fucking much. She is the coolest female character on the show. Unlike....

2. Kate.
How is she still alive????? She is the worst character ever! She's serves no purpose except to be eye candy for a show that doesn't need that. Claire served no purpose, so they got rid of her. Sun is becoming more and more dull, so they only gave her one line to repeat all season. Why is Kate constantly on my screen? Wait, I know why. It's because of....

3. Jack.
Jack wants to blow up the bomb because of Kate? Because he wants to try to start over with her? Even though if his plan works, they will be strangers and Kate will be in jail? Stupid Jack. You're a dumbass.

4. New people. (Ilana and her band of statue shadow lovers)
I'm pleased to see that they serve some purpose and that they seem to know Jacob and island things, but there wasn't a single Other or Dharma person to fill this role? We certainly don't need a whole new set of characters.

Random Thoughts

1. The First Scene
Tonight showed Jacob and an unknown/unnamed man sitting on the beach watching, what appears to be, the Black Rock heading to shore. The man Jacob is with implies that Jacob keeps bringing people to the island. He then says the same thing keeps happening: They come, They fight, They corrupt. It's a "loop", This man seems very annoyed with Jacob and tells him that he wants to kill him, then walks away.

This scene obviously took place long, long ago. It seemed to me that Jacob and this dude were the only ones who lived on The Island at the time. So, who is This Dude? My guess, is he is The Island in human form. Jacob is some sort of saint or supernatural being. He's kind of a dick (as we saw in his scene with Ben) and doesn't do what is best for The Island. This Dude is The Island and wants Jacob and everyone else to stay off The Island, but can't get anyone to leave. For whatever reason, Jacob can't leave.

I believe, that somehow, Jacob trapped This Dude's spirit in the cabin (where Jacob used to live). This is the voice asking for help that Locke heard. This is why Locke is always saying The Island told him things. And this is who DeadLock really is. Okay, that last part was confirmed at the end of the episode.

2. The Black Rock.
We saw the Black Rock heading to The Island. But we still don't know how it ends up in the middle of the The Island. I'm thinking that when This Dude walked away from Jacob, he went and did some funny business with the Frozen Donkey Wheel, but it got messed up and The Island landed underneath the Black Rock....or something.

3. The Loop.
When This Dude was talking to Jacob in the first scene, he said something about it being a loop. Then, at the end, Jacob said This Dude must have found his loophole. Is it possible that the happenings on The Island have been happening in a loop for eternity and that Jacob and This Dude have been reliving them over and over? Maybe This Dude has been trying to find the loophole to make it end and to kill Jacob. Maybe he can't kill Jacob himself because they are a part of each other in some way. So, he found it with Locke and knew that the Oceanic 6 had to come back in order to make it work (for whatever reason). He needed them in the past to blow up the Swan. Now, maybe that loop is over and The Island belongs, once again, to This Dude.

4. Egypt.
More hieroglyphics tonight that apparently are carved by Jacob. He must get really bored. I'm not going to dissect this too much as ancient Egypt things are always weird and mysterious anyway.

5. Jacob.
Was it odd that Jacob can just die? Why didn't this happen sooner? I thought for sure some crazy black smoke or green goo was going to come oozing out of his body. And if my theory about The Loop is correct, then why did Jacob keep going off island to interact with our Losties all of their lives? Why would he want them to come to The Island if it meant bad things for his fate? Why these particular people? What does it all mean???? And did everyone notice how he found a way to physically touch them all? And when he said "They are coming" who was he talking about? Was he talking about Ilana and her team? Or....did he mean the Losties in 1977? Maybe the explosion only rocked them to present time, but they are still on The Island. I was intrigued the whole night about how the present and past Island events were happening parallel to each other. (One theory I've read is that Jacob touched everyone to give them a part of himself. So when he said "They're coming" he meant the Losties will be coming and he will be able to live....or something).

6. Ben.
Poor, poor Ben. I felt so bad for him. Yes, he's done horrible things, but it was all in the name of Jacob. Then he finds out that Jacob doesn't give a shit about him. Imagine if all the Jesus Freaks found that out. Imagine how the world would change. That's some serious stuff.

7. Dr. Chang.
I was happy to see how he lost his hand and to hear Miles call him dad. That is all.

8. Rose and Bernard.
It seems to me more and more that they are "Adam and Eve", the two skeletons the Losties find in the caves in the first season.

9. Jacob throughout their lives.
Jacob appeared to Kate and Sawyer when they were kids. He appeared to Jack, John, Sayid, and Hurley at important moments in their lives. Jack doing his first surgery. John after he fell out of the window. Sayid after his wife died. Hurley when he gets out of jail. Juliette was shown as a child, but Jacob never visited her. What does this all mean? Could it be that Juliette was never meant to be on The Island at all? At least not by Jacob's choosing?

10. The Incident.
The Incident that Dr. Chang has alluded to in all of his orientation videos occurred when Dharma was creating the Swan hatch and hit a massive pocket of energy while drilling. This caused a large magnetic pull and, I assume, had some terrible side effects. Now the question is...Did the bomb going off stop all of that from happening (did it erase the past) or is the bomb going off The Incident, like Miles said?

Answers

1. Why does Richard never age? Jacob keeps him young.
2. What is up with Locke? He's dead, which is actually kind of sad. He spent all this time thinking he had some magical island destiny, only to just be dead and never fulfilling it.
3. What is The Incident? The occurred when Dharma was creating the Swan hatch and hit a massive pocket of energy while drilling.

Questions

1. Why does Jacob keep Richard young and where did Richard come from? (my guess is the Black Rock)
2. What is Jacob?
3. What is This Dude?
4. What happened after the bomb went off?
5. If Locke is actually dead, does that mean Christian is really dead and his corpse is on The Island somewhere?
6. If they changed history and their plane lands safely, will everyone be there? Boone, Shannon, Nikki, Paulo, Michael, Walt? That would be a chore gathering that cast together.

Predictions

1. Jack did cause The Incident by causing a scene and being a distraction at the Swan. But Juliette negated it by blowing up the bomb. This is why the bomb didn't go off at first because "whatever happened, happened" and it always happened that way. Juliette was the human variable Faraday alluded it. When she changed her mind in the jungle while talking to Sawyer, everything changed. Considering she was the only one who was not touched by Jacob, her presence was never meant to be there.

2. Sayid rigged Jughead so it wouldn't go off, since he believes he can't be saved.

3. I have no idea where they will all end up. Part of me believes the Losties will flash to 2007, their plane will land, but I think they will remember everything. Maybe not at first, but slowly memories will be triggered. They will then make another quest for The Island to save Jacob. But, then again, I don't think they can get every member of the original cast to be on that safely landed plane, so this also seems like the doubtful scenario.

4. This Dude is Smokey.

5. Making a prediction for next year is trying to determine the whole meaning of the series and that is an impossible task. I just hope hope hope it all wraps up nicely and that I don't need to read every literature reference the show gives in order to "get it".

But, I have faith. Everyone (including me) doubted they would ever show that statue again. But, boy, were we wrong.

Now we wait. We wait for about 8 months. 8 long months. A summer and fall will pass. Turkey will be shared, presents will be opened. January 2010. January. The coldest, longest, darkest, most dull month of the year. I hate January. But now, I wish it was January just so I could know what will happen.

Lost, Episode 15 "Follow The Leader"

Dear Lost,

Why are you doing this? Why did you do this? Why did you have to go the time travel route? You have backed yourself into a corner that I see no way out of. So it was Locke's own idea that he had to die in order to get everyone to come back to the island? Why? Why did he think this? Because The Island told him? Not buying it. There has to be a catalyst. There has to be a starting point for all this mayhem. Is everyone destined to be there, or was it all a fluke? I feel like you're trying to say that everyone creates their own destiny. But....there still has to be a starting point. Jacob better be the answer. He better be real and explainable or this whole show goes to hell.

Signed,
Your (unfortunately) Loyal Viewer Who Really Can't Wait Until This Time Next Year When She Doesn't Have To Watch This Show Anymore

Yes, it's true. I think I've had it with this show. It just clearly does not make any sense anymore. Each week, I force myself to believe that it does make some sort of sense and I force myself to forget the parts that don't fit. But last night did me in. Locke being the one to tell Richard what to say to past Locke to get him to leave the island and then die and come back just makes absolutely no sense. But before I get into that, let's start the recap.

We start off post-Faraday shooting. Jack and Kate get caught hiding in the bushes and brought into The Hostiles' camp. Eloise takes them under her care. She realizes that Faraday was telling the truth that he is her son and wants to know what the hell is going on (so do I, lady). Jack tells her they are from the future and that Faraday knew of a way of stopping any of this from happening. That way? Setting off Jughead the bomb.

She tells him they buried the bomb 25 years ago when Faraday first told them to (back when they were time skipping all the time). But the bomb is now located underneath Dharmaville. But, fortunately for them, there are a series of underground tunnels that can take them there. But before they can go, Kate needs to whine a little bit. You see, Kate doesn't want to change time. Not for the reasons you would think she wouldn't. Not because if the OriginalPlane lands safely in L.A. she will be arrested for murder and go to prison. Not because if they land, Charlie will still be a heroine addict. Not because Claire will give Aaron up for adoption. Not because she will never get to raise Aaron. Not because John will still be paralyzed. Not because Hurley will still have the horrible bad luck. No, not because of any of those things. She doesn't want to land safely in the past because that would mean she never got to sleep with Jack...or Sawyer. Because, really, these past 3 years haven't been all bad, have they? I mean, sure, a lot of people have died and Sun is no longer with Jin and they are all stuck in 1977 and Rose, Bernard, and Vincent have disappeared, and Walt no longer has any parents, and Claire is probably a ghost, Jack's dad is for sure a ghost....but in this time period, Kate is a free woman with a kid who gets to have two random dudes pine over her all the time. So, yeah, it hasn't been all bad.

-and nevermind that they can't stop any of this from happening, because if it didn't happen then they couldn't go back to stop it in the first place-

Jack, Kate, Eloise, Richard, and a couple of random Hostile dudes with guns head out into the jungle towards the underground tunnels. They come to a body of water. Eloise tells them they will need to swim down and into an underwater passage to get to the tunnels. Jack starts practicing for the swim, but Kate has had enough. She tells them all to go to hell. She is going to be a good person and find the rest of their friends. She turns to leave and one of the Hostile Gun Goons threatens to shoot her. Then you hear a gunshot and for just one beautiful moment you think all is right with the world and that Kate got hers. But then, no. Instead you see Sayid. Goddamn Sayid fucking shit up again. Kate is not dead. Sayid just shot the two Gun Goons. WHY?!?!?!? I hate you, Sayid. You used to be cool. Now you just go around shooting everyone without a care. They were going to shoot Kate! It was going to be awesome! Ugh. So fucking lame, Sayid.

So, now that Kate is still alive, she whines some more about Jack's stupid plan. Sayid tells Jack that none of this matters because he already tried to change things by killing Ben and nothing has changed. Kate's all, dude, I saved him so you never did kill him and Jack's plan is stupid. She does have a point. I mean, when did this show become about killing kids and blowing up bombs? Jack's plan is full of holes. But, Sayid won't listen because mayhem is about to be created and Sayid loves mayhem. So Kate wanders off into the jungle to find everyone else and Jack, Sayid, Richard, and Eloise dive down deep and into the underwater tunnel.

When they get to the other side, they are in the same tunnel system where Ben was judged by Smokey. They light some torches and Richard leads them to the bomb. "Now what?" asks Eloise. Exactly. Now what, Jack? How do you plan on igniting this thing? How do you plan on not dying in the process? I'm fairly sure that it doesn't come with a remote detonator. Someone didn't think their cunning plan all the way through.

Back in Dharmaville, Sawyer and Juliette are tied up and being interrogated. Radzinksky, the psychopath, has taken control of Dharma (since Horace is too much of a tool to handle things) and is beating Sawyer senseless to get him to give up Kate's location. But Sawyer won't budge. He can't tell on his PreciousKate and Juliette can't fucking believe it. So the little dude who Sawyer had knocked out and tied up in the closet steps up and says he can make him talk and then BAM! he smacks Juliette. Now, I love Juliette, but that was awesome. Yeah yeah yeah, violence against women, blah blah blah. But you never see that in television and that would totally happen in real life. And she's tough. She totally took it.

Another dude comes in and says he found the manifest from when the new recruits came and that Jack, Kate, and a third person were last minute add ons. The third person, Hurley of course.

And where is Hurley? He is packing up food to go out on the run with Miles and Jin. He meets up them and wants to know why they aren't going to try to rescue Sawyer and Juliette. As they discuss this, Dr. Chang shows up. He demands to know the truth. He says Faraday told him they were from the future and that Miles is his son. They try to deny it, but then Chang gives Hurley a pop quiz.

Chang: "What year were you born?"
Hurley: "1931"
Chang: "You're 46?"
Hurley: "Yeah. Yes, I am."
Chang: "So you fought in the Korean war?"
Hurley: "There's no such thing." (cue Jin and Miles looking on in disbelief)
Chang: "Who's the President of the United States?"
Hurley: "Alright, dude, we're from the future"

Miles confirms that he is Chang's son and it is all very sweet. He also confirms that Faraday is super smart and always right and that everyone should evacuate the island.

Chang heads to the interrogation room and tells Horace to evacuate everybody because the Swan hatch is very bad. But, Radzinksy, the douche, won't have it. So Sawyer cuts a deal. If they evacuate the women and children, and throw he and Juliette on the sub, too, he will tell them everything. They all agree.

As they lead everyone to the sub, Hurley, Jin, and Miles are looking on. They see Sawyer and Juliette getting in and are very confused. Sawyer gives a "good riddance" to the island and boards. They then see Dr. Chang force his wife and Baby Miles onto the sub and now Adult Miles understands why his mom thought his dad was such a jerk. She was pissed that he yelled at her to leave and wouldn't come along. It's all very sweet again.

On the sub, Sawyer and Juliette are being all lovely dovey and figuring out their off island plans when one last passenger is brought on board. It's Kate. Goddamn Kate. She got herself caught and Dharma doesn't want her anymore, so they are shipping her off, to the dismay of Juliette. Everything gets very uncomfortable. Then the sub takes off.

Thirty Years In The Future....

ReincarnatedLocke greets Richard on the beach. He has Ben and Sun with him. He and Richard play a little catch up and Richard notices something is off with John. John doesn't tell him that he just came back from the dead. Ben and Sun chit chat some more about how old Richard is without actually saying how old he is or how he doesn't age. Sun runs up to Richard and asks if he knows Jin and the rest of the gang from 1977. He says that he does remember them and that he watched them all die. What the hell does that mean?

Sun is upset and goes to cry on the beach. Locke tells her he has a plan and vows to get her back with Jin.

Locke tells Richard they need to run an errand together and then Richard will have to take him to Jacob. Ben tags along and they head out to the jungle.

They approach the small airplane that Mr. Ecko's brother crashed in and that caused Boone to die. It turns out they are in the time period that Locke flashed to previously after he got shot in the leg by an Other and this is where it all goes to hell. DeadLocke tells Richard that a man is about to stumble out of the jungle with a bullet in his leg and that Richard needs to take it out. Who is this man? Why, it's John Locke, of course. DeadLocke tells Richard that he needs to tell BulletLegLocke that he needs to get everyone to come back to The Island and the only way to do this is by dying.

WHAT THE FUCK?

So, here we are, folks. Welcome to Mindfuck Paradox Land. I was all okay with this scenario when Richard seemed to be an all knowing connection to The Island. But it is turning out more and more that Richard is a clueless hack whose only purpose is to wear way too much eyeliner. Think about it. Richard was unaware of the time travel possibilities back in 1954 when Locke first told him about it. He still seems confused by the idea of it. And now he is not the one with the great island plan of getting everyone back there to serve some greater purpose. Nope. It was just stupid Locke's own stupid idea. But why? Because The Island told him to. Fuck The Island! What a lame excuse! At this point, I am so angry. If this show tries to wrap everything up with "because The Island said so" I am going to invent time travel so I can go back to a time when this show never existed.

Ben is clueless, too. He doesn't believe in ReincarnatedDeadLocke. He doesn't believe in time travel. This is all new to him. So what. the. hell?

They head back to the beach and Locke calls a meeting with the rest of The Hostiles. He tells them he thinks it's silly that they all take orders from Jacob, yet none of them have seen him. He says they are all going to give him a visit.

They all head up the beach and off to Jacob. On the way, Ben tells Locke that Richard is concerned about this little adventure. He thinks Locke might be trouble. But Ben says that he is there now to do as Locke says as the new leader and will help Locke in anyway to reunite with his friends. But, Locke tells him he doesn't care about reuniting with them. He just wants to see Jacob so he can kill him.

oh my god. i am in such suspense.

Is it over yet?

Never Again

Last December I had a horrible reaction to a party I went to. I drank a lot at this party. Beer after beer after beer. Usually I am good about this. I eat dinner before I go out and then, being that I normally have to drive, my drinking is limited. But last December I drank so much on an empty stomach and had a ride home that I ended up with a hangover so bad it took me to urgent care. You can read all about it here: http://muserantramble.blogspot.com/2008/12/poisoned.html

It turns out, I wasn't poisoned, nor was it due to my hangover. A nasty, nasty 12 hour flu bug had been going around and I happened to catch it.

At least that's what I thought.

This weekend, it happened again.

Saturday night I went to see Cloud Cult (one of my favorite bands) at First Avenue. I was super excited. A lot of my friends were going. Some I hadn't seen in a while. It was going to be a good night and I was in a great mood. Maybe too good. I drank way too much. I don't even know how. I think it was the 2 vodka tonics I had in between the extra large bottles of Summit that did me in. Because the next morning I barely remembered a thing and I still felt drunk. My head was swimming. So I did the only logical thing I could think of: I threw up. Bad idea. Really bad idea. Because, although in the initial moments following my purge I felt great, shortly after it all went to hell. That horrible stomach pain returned. I don't even know how to explain this pain. It's like someone keeps punching right in the stomach over and over again. And it comes in waves - almost like contractions. I would take one sip of water and the pain would come rushing back. It would start me sobbing - almost screaming in agony. But, it's not really a "pain", it's just awful horrible nausea. Then, it will stop and I'll take some deep breaths and be able to close my eyes for a minute. All I want to do is go back to sleep. But as soon as I start to drift, the feeling comes back.

This time, I knew I had to stay hydrated. So no matter how tempting that brief relief from puking was, I held it in. Eventually, after a couple of hours of this, I fell asleep. I woke up and felt much better. I made some soup and was eating solids by days end. But my whole Sunday was ruined. We had so many plans for the day. All were lost to the hangover from hell.

So, what have I learned?

1) Always, always eat a nice dinner before drinking.
2) Do not mix alchohol. No beer and liquor nights.
3) Drink lots of water while out.
4) If I wake up with a hangover, try to go back to sleep.
5) Under no circumstances do I make myself throw up. This seems to be the catalycst each time.

I never want to feel that way again.