Lost Episode 5 "This Place Is Death"

Okay...let's just start with the off island crap. I like to get it out of the way....

We start this episode in the car with Sun who is fondling her gun. She gets a call from her daughter (omg, when she said 'annyong' I had to say it back due to watching too much Arrested Development) and they chat. She gets out of the car and points the gun at Ben. Ben, as calm as ever, proceeds to tell her that Jin is still alive and he has proof if she will just join he and Jack and come to the church with them. She agrees.

Sayid and Kate decide to bail. Amazingly, Kate manages to remember to grab Aaron (HER SON!) as she leaves. Sun, Jack, and Ben head to the church to meet up with Eloise Hawkins (or is it Hawking? I forget. I'll just call her Eloise).

I just have to say that this opening scene was one of the worse pieces of combined acting I have ever seen on a major network television show. It seemed like they brought in the stunt doubles to do the scene. It was just awkward.

On the way to the church Jack tells Sun that if Ben is lying about Jin, he will kill him because he already made Kate upset and nobody likes it when Kate starts whining. This hurts Ben's feelings and he immediately pulls the car over and threatens to turn this thing around and go home if they don't start behaving. No, I'm kidding. Kind of. He does tell them that if they only knew everything he has been doing to protect them these last three years, they wouldn't be so quick to hurt him. But if they want to kill him, just get it over with. They keep going to the church.

When they arrive, Ben gives Sun Jin's wedding ring as proof that he is still alive. He tells her Locke gave it to him when he returned from the island. Because of this, Sun agrees to go back to the island with Ben.

As soon as I was starting to realize I can't watch one more scene that has to do with Sun or Jack, Desmond pops up to make everything better. Oh, Desmond...sigh.........................

I'm guessing the writer's realized they had to hook Desmond up with Jack, Sun, and Ben because Ben alone cannot combat the massive amount of suckage that spews off Jack. Add Sun to the mix, and Desmond was needed. Stat. And I used to like Sun.

Desmond is here looking for Faraday's mother and thinks they are all doing the same. He seemed to get to L.A. pretty quick. But whatever. He's Desmond, brotha.

They all go into the church and the music gets all mysterious as the writer's try to make it the big reveal at the end that Eloise is Faraday's mom...like we didn't guess that 3 episodes ago.

Cut. Scene. End of episode.

But wait, there's more!

On the island:
Jin is still hanging out with Rosseau and her French team. She tells him it is 1988. He tells them he must find his camp, which confuses them because he said his boat sank. Btw, Jin's English has progressed immensely while he was passed out and floating in the ocean.

They ask him to take them to the radio tower so they can see where the numbers (4 8 15 16 23 42) are coming from. He agrees and they head into the jungle and run into an old friend. Smokey! The smoke monster arrives and starts it's attack. It manages to snag a member of the team and drag him into a hole. As the rest of the group tries to hang onto him, Smokey wins and pulls him into the hole. The rest of the team just get his arm. Yes, they pulled off his arm.

The team chooses to go into the hole after him. Jin convinces Rosseau to stay behind for the sake of the baby. She agrees, the sky blows up and Jin is sent to another time.

He makes it to another beach and finds two members of the French team dead on the beach. They appear to have been shot. He then sees Rosseau holding a gun to her babydaddy yelling at him about how he's changed and how that thing has made him sick. Now ladies, I know we have all had that argument before, am I right? The babydaddy begs for his life and just as she gives in, he points a gun at her. But she draws first and shoots him. She then sees Jin and starts yelling and shooting at him. He runs into the jungle and the sky blows up again.

(Now, is this going to be all of Rosseau's back story? Why does she think they are sick? She never mentioned Smokey before. She just kept talking about the sickness. I'm just confused about this.)

Jin hears a gun behind him and slowly turns around. It's Sawyer! And Juliette! And Locke and Miles and Charlotte and Faraday! Finally.

They explain the best they can about what is going on. Then Charlotte admits she can speak Korean and she finishes the job. Why does everyone think it's odd that she can speak Korean? Lots of people know different languages.

They continue on to the Orchid.

Meanwhile, the sky is blowing up like crazy. The flashes are much more constant. Everyone (besides Faraday and Locke) has a bloody nose. And then Charlotte passes out again. They revive her and she begins talking all crazy. She tells Jin to make sure that Sun never comes back because "this place is death!".

Locke gets sick of her shit and makes everyone leave her behind and head to the Orchid. But Faraday can't leave her and stays with her. Before they leave, Charlotte tells Locke to look for the well and that is how they will get to the frozen donkey wheel - in case time moves again and the Orchid isn't there...how did she know that?.......

As she goes in and out of making sense, she tells Faraday that she was born on the island and lived there throughout her childhood until she and her mother were let go. Her mother told her that the island never existed and it was all in her head. She has been trying to find it ever since.

She then remembers a crazy man from the island who told her to never come back to the island because she would die, and guess what? He looked an awful lot like Faraday. Duh duh duhhhhhhhhh. Then she dies. Goodbye, Charlotte. I thought you were cool.

Sawyer, Locke, Jin, Juliette, and Miles make it to the Orchid and it's there! (Woohoo!) But not for long. (Oh damn) Locke finds the well with a long rope leading into a very deep dark place. He's about to head down, but Jin stops him and makes him promise not to bring Sun back (oops) and gives him his wedding ring to give to her to prove that he is dead. Locke promises (what a liar) and heads down the hole. But not before everyone tells him that he's their hero. Seriously.

As he's making his way down the hole, the sky starts blowing up. Sawyer grabs hold of the rope to try to keep Locke with them. But Locke falls and breaks his leg really bad. We're talking bone sticking out of the leg bad. It was gross. What's up with this episode and gross body parts? Sawyer is left holding a rope that is stuck in the ground. The well is gone and is covered by earth. They are left thinking Locke is dead and buried.

But he's not. He's in serious serious pain, but he is not alone. From the cavern comes....Christian Shepard! Holy crap! He tells Locke that he's upset because he didn't listen when he told him that Locke had to move the island and not Ben. He tells him he can make it better now, though, by fixing the wheel which is off balance, by giving is a little push. This will cause his death, but the island will feel better. That's all Locke needs to hear. He gets up (he asks Christian if he will help him up, in which Christian replies, bitch,please) and makes his way to the wheel. It is wobbling around. He pushes it. There is a flash. The end.

Now, it was obvious the wheel was off balance. Could this be why the island was flashing like crazy? And if that is all it is, then why does everyone need to come back?

Will anyone tell the Losties that Locke is okay and made it off the island? Will the island keep flashing? Or are they in danger because they are now stuck in a dangerous time? Maybe around the time that the Dharma Initiative first took camp? Maybe around the time that the Orchid is first built? Maybe that's how Faraday gets there in that scene from the first episode? Maybe this is when he tells a young Charlotte not to come back? Maybe, maybe, maybe????

One more thing, I really hope Rosseau's babydaddy's synopsis of what the smoke monster is is not the answer that we have all been waiting for...because we've already figured that out. We don't need to know what it does or it's purpose, but what IS it? And does it eat people? Because it was acting like a hungry bear.