Lost Episode 7, "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham"

John Locke episodes usually don't disappoint. And though this one was entertaining, it really was just John Locke the entire time with a couple of cameos from the rest of the cast. I like my Locke episodes sprinkled with a bit of side story from the rest of the crew. But either way....

We start the show off with that hispanic guy who was on the plane with the O6 last week and who we all knew would serve a greater purpose because he got the honor of speaking to Jack. He's in some sort of room reading Dharma files. In walks the FBI agent. She says there is a guy on the beach wearing a suit who wasn't on the plane. Are these two Dharma folks? Are they Others? Do they have their own list of good and bad people? Are they Nikki and Paulo version 2.0? Why is this show introducing me to yet another set of characters?!??!

Turns out they were just passengers on the plane (or so we are being led to believe). Caesar (the Hispanic guy), and FBIchick head to the beach. On the way they pass the crashed plane. Everyone is sitting around a campfire. There is a man covering his head with a blanket. Caesar approaches him. "Who are you?" he asks. "I'm John Locke." says John Locke. Ooooh.....

Now, my memory gets a little hazy on the order of events here. It didn't help that I had just returned from happy hour before I started watching. Yes, I write this all from memory. I don't take notes while watching the show and I don't read recaps before writing this.

Locke is standing on the beach looking quite stoic. FBIchick approaches him. There are canoes just like the ones the time traveling Losties took to get to the Orchid on the beach. Locke asks her if they belong to them. She says no, but the pilot and a woman took one and headed out to sea (Lapidus and maybe Sun?). He asks if she has a list of passengers on the plane. She says no, but Caesar might. She asks who he is and why he wasn't on the plane and why he is wearing a suit. Why does his clothing choice matter? A lot of people wear suits on a plane.

Locke tells her he thinks it's the suit they were going to bury him in. Duh duh duhhhhhhh. She wisely backs away slowly.          

We flashback (?) to Locke pushing the frozen donkey wheel. After pushing it, he wakes up in the Tunisian desert. This is the same place that Ben ended up when he pushed the wheel at the end of season 4. And where Charlotte found the remains of a polar bear in a Dharma collar in her flashback episode. His leg is still disgusting and broken and he decides to gross us out even more by vomiting up some milky substance. Ewww, Locke.

There is a camera set up. He screams for help. Eventually a truck full of Tunisians rolls up and whisks him away. They take him to a makeshift hospital and gross us out even more by ramming his bone back into his leg. Damn that looked painful.

When Locke comes to, Charles Widmore is sitting next to his bed. He tells him he is here to help him and to help him get his friends back to the island. We find out that Ben lied to Widmore and was the one who made him leave the island. Widmore was also "special" and was chosen to be the leader. Widmore believes Ben made Locke leave, as well. Locke swears it was by his own choice...but come on, Locke. All those stories from Ben about how special you are didn't influence your thinking?

Locke tells him that Richard Alpart said he would have to die to get everyone back. Widmore tells him that's bogus. He introduces Locke to his sidekick....Matthew Abaddon. You may remember Abaddon as the orderly who told Locke about the Walkabout in Australia. He also showed up at Hurley's mental institution after Hurly returned from the island and told him he worked for Oceanic Airlines and wanted to confirm there are no other survivors.

Widmore tells Locke that Abaddon will be his driver and help him find his friends. He gives Locke a file containing all of their information and tells them he's been following them to make sure they are okay.

 Did anyone else get a Heroes vibe from this interaction? Widmore as 

Horned Rimmed Glasses guy trying to find all of the other "Heroes". Abaddon as The Haitian mind control guy who makes it possible to round up the Heroes. He even appeared from behind a blowing sheet which I swear is how The Haitian made his appearance in every episode of Heroes that I ever watched. Locke would be the reluctant Hero wary of seeking out his friends.

Locke is given a wheelchair. This made me so sad. He's back off the island and back in a wheelchair. You can just see the hurt in his eyes. You know he would give anything to be back on the island where he was special and walking.

Locke and Abaddon head to their first stop, Santo Domingo, to pick up Sayid.

Sayid apparently has joined Habitat for Humanity or something like it since he stopped being Ben's go-to assassin. He's also learned Spanish. He tells Locke he will never go back to the island and that he has found peace by helping others. Locke is 0 for 1.

They then head to New York to track down Walt. I was pleased they addressed this. Walt was on the island. He needs to go back, too, right. But then this means that Desmond and Sun's kid need to go, too. Or is it just people from the plane, which would exclude Desmond? Who knows. Does anyone really know what the island really wants?

 Another thought I had about this Walt visit....is it possible that Abaddon is 

grown up Walt? I know this theory has been thrown around before, but I think this encounter made it seem all the more possible. When Walt came walking out of school, Abaddon made a comment about how "the boy has gotten big". Now, I know the writer's like to point out Walt's growth spurt as much as possible, but the way Abaddon said it, it almost seemed like he was proud or that he was marveling at his young self. Then, as soon as Walt started to approach, Abaddon said he would leave them alone and stepped away. I know from watching Back to the Future so many times that coming face to face with yourself could cause catastrophic happenings that could destroy the whole world (woah, that's heavy). I bet Abaddon knows that, too.

Walt asks about his dad and Locke lies. Locke realizes Walt has been through enough and decides not to ask him to come back. Locke is 0 for 2.

To pass the time to their next destination, Abaddon starts asking Locke if there is anyone, ANYONE that Locke wants him to find. Locke asks him to find Peg Bundy..oops... I mean Helen Norwood, his lady love from his rehab days. Abaddon says he's on it and they continue on to Los Angeles to see Hurley at the mental institution.

Hurley thinks Locke is just another one of his ghost friends until he asks his nurse to confim that he is there. She does. Hurley sees Abaddon standing by the car and freaks out. Locke tries to tell him that Abaddon is a good guy and helping them. But Hurley remembers how he said he was from the airlines and runs from Locke screaming. Locke is finally starting to grow suspicious.

0 for 3. They head to Kate's.

Kate isn't going back. She blathers on about love and I try to figure out why this means she can't go back. I thought she looooovvveeed Sawyer. But then she also looooovvvvves Jack. Maybe she's talking about HER SON and how she won't bring him back.

She makes Locke feel bad about only ever loving himself and the island and he calls her on her shit and tells her he used to love a woman named Helen Norwood but how he lost her because he was angry and obsessed. She tells him he hasn't changed and he smacks her upside the head and calls her a whore. Locke is 0 for 4. Oh, whoops, that was what I was hoping would happen. Instead, he wheels himself out and asks Abaddon if he's found Helen yet. At first he says no, but after some prodding he brings Locke to the cemetery. Looks like Helen died of a brain aneurism. I am terrified of aneurisms. That and appendicitis. They are probably my biggest fears. I'm weird. It doesn't h help that I get odd headaches and strange side pains all the time. Anyway...

As Abaddon is loading Locke's wheelchair into the trunk of the car he is shot. Multiple times. He is dead. So now I hope he is not AdultWalt because I would hate for this to be the way Walt's life ends. Locke manages to crawl into the front seat and drive away. Good thing Abaddon left the keys in the ignition, right? I mean, most people probably would carry them in their pocket. Especially if they had to open the trunk of the car. But whatever.

Locke goes flying down the street like a lunatic and gets into an accident. Is this how he dies?

Nope. He wakes up in Jack's hospital. Jack is staring at him on the verge of tears. He knows he will have to ask how Locke got there and, as we've witnessed in the past, Jack can't handle new information.

Locke says it was FATE that brought him to this hospital. Jack says it was just probability since he crashed on his side of town. I think Jack might have a point there. Jack goes on and on about how Locke is just a stupid lonely old man and continues to kick him while he is down and I'm just getting really tired of people making Locke feel bad. Locke tells Jack his father says hi and this just pisses Jack off more and he leaves.

Locke is 0 for 5.

Back at his hotel room, Locke is rigging himself up a noose. He writes his suicide note (the one that Jack read last week) and stands up on the desk and puts the cord around his neck. This is becoming really difficult to watch. Terry O'Quinn is such a brilliant actor and this seems all too real. He does this scene with such heartbreaking beauty.

Just as he's about to step off the ledge, Ben breaks down the door. He pleads with Locke to stop and tells him, once again, how special he is. He tells him Widmore is evil and using Locke to find the island and destroy it. Why else would he send the freighter full of explosives? Locke sees the light and steps down from the desk. He breaks down in tears and tells Ben how he can't get anyone to join him. Ben says Jack bought a plane ticket and they still could try for Sun. Jack says he can't bring Sun back, he promised Jin. He tells Ben about the wedding ring Jin gave him. Ben pumps him full of revigorating juice and Locke starts to get hopeful again. He gets up and starts to gather his stuff together and tells Ben they need to visit Eloise Hawking to get back to the island. Ben says he knows her, but you have to wonder if he's lying. As Locke packs up his stuff, Ben approaches him from behind with the cord and strangles him. Locke is dead. Ben is an asshole. He grabs Jin's wedding ring, hangs Locke from the ceiling to make it look like a suicide, cleans for fingerprints, and leaves.

We now flashback or forward (or who knows) back to the island. Locke is still talking to the FBIchick. She shows him where Caesar is. He seems to be in one of the hatches, but I don't recognize it. Locke tells him a bit about Dharma and that he once lived on the island for 100 days. They chit chat a bit and Caesar tells him that the pilot and some woman took the manifest when they took off on the boat. He then tells Locke that just before the plane crashed, a fat guy with curly hair was talking to him, then there was a bright flash of light, then he disappeared... and so did a couple of other people. Locke says he now knows how they ended up here. Caesar says that everyone has been accounted for except for the ones who disappeared before the crash. They even included the hurt people. Locke asks him to bring him to the hurt people. He does. One of them is Ben. Locke says, "that's the man who killed me." Boom. End of episode.

So, it was a good episode. It tied the season together. It covered Locke's story in one swoop. But I'm a bit annoyed that we now have a whole other cast of castaways hanging around. I was so happy when they killed off all the remaining extras in the first few episodes.

It also seems that Jack, Kate, and Hurley were flashed to the past and Locke, Ben, Sun, and Lapidus are in the present....maybe? Why else would Kate, Hurley, and Jack be so far inland.? And where is Sayid? The FBIchick doesn't seem to be concerned. Maybe I shouldn't either.

I Just Don't Get It

As much as I try to not read about "OctoMom" and her various litters, she is difficult to escape. The more I read about her, the more frustrated I get.

You see, I didn't grow up in the most wonderful conditions. My mom died when I was six and my dad raised me all alone. Since he worked a lot, I was left home alone quite a bit. I got myself ready for school and a I brought myself home. We lived with my grandparents for the first year following my mom's death. Then I had a daycare provider for another 6 months to a year, but was taken out of there after some scandal with the woman's son. I then stayed with the elderly landlord of the apartment building we lived in. But that only lasted about another 6 months. After that, I was by myself.

I took care of myself, but I will admit, I did take advantage of my parentless solitude. I skipped school. A lot. I got through 1st and 2nd grade okay. But by 3rd, I just decided I would much rather be at home watching Nickolodeon. So, I stayed home. Or I left school early. It didn't help that we lived right across the street from the elementary school I attended.

This pattern continued all through my school years. Every new school year I would enter school with a new hope. I would go everyday and get good grades and just be an awesome student. But by December, my ideals would change. I was still getting good grades. I was a straight A student when I attended. I just didn't want to go. I liked learning. I'm an intelligent person. I just didn't want to go to school.

Eventually, social services was brought in. A woman named Joy was given my case. She went after my dad full speed. She assumed he must abuse me. Why else would I not go to school? She went on and on about how my dad and I were too close and wanted nothing more than to keep us apart. One day when she called my dad at work about me missing school, he went off on her on the phone. She called the cops and had them show up at work and take him away in handcuffs for making terroristic threats. I had to bike the 8 miles to the jail with his checkbook in hand to bail him out. I was in and out of court for my truancy all through junior high.

We moved to a new town the summer before my freshman year. I started September off with the same promise I always made to myself: I will go to school everyday. But, as usual, December rolled around and I had already missed a lot of school. The only difference is, this time I had a guidance counselor who saw my potential and wouldn't let up. He called social services.

Once again, Joy was in our lives.

She had me pulled out of school and sent to a group home over an hour away. The kicker: I spent 2 weeks in that group home and never attended school. How the hell does that make any sense? I spent my days watching daytime television and reading Stephen King novels. She made it a rule that I was not allowed to speak to my father. For two weeks I couldn't talk to him. They had pulled me out of school against my will and without him knowing and drove me over an hour away and dropped me off and did not let me speak to him once. About a week in, they let me talk to one of my older sisters. All because I didn't go to school everyday.

My dad fought this and won (surprisingly) and I was brought back home. I still didn't go to school everyday.

They threatened to send me back, but my sister-in-law stepped in. She had taken in foster kids before and had an 'in' with the local courts. She asked them to let me live with her and my brother instead of sending me away. The courts agreed. So, the final 6 weeks of my freshman year of high school, I moved to another town and started another school.

I still didn't go. But no one noticed this time.

By the next fall, I was back with my dad. I decided that regular high school just didn't work for me. A friend of mine attended an alternative school. I thought maybe I should enroll there. So I went to enroll...and got arrested.

The cop that patrolled the school was good friends with my social services counselor. He knew of me as a "truant" and decided to take me in. Yes, I was arrested for not attending school while I was enrolling for school. How the hell does that make sense? I was taken to the county jail and placed in a solitary holding cell for 3 hours (I had just turned 15). My dad had to leave work and attend my hearing that afternoon. In the end, they sent me home with him.

After speaking to my counselors at my original high school, they placed me in their alternative program. I completed the necessary credits for graduation in a year and a half and I was done. The whole mess was done.

So what does this have to do with OctoMom?

I just don't get how a woman with 14 children who she openly admits to not being able to care for, who she does not have the money to raise because she doesn't work, who will soon not have a house to live in....how have social services not stepped in and taken these kids away???? How is she going to afford to feed all of them? How will she afford their health care? I was repeatedly yanked from my home for not attending school on a regular basis. I was arrested for this! My dad was arrested for this! Even though I still passed every year and managed to get good grades.

My dad kept me clothed, fed, and healthy. Yet I was repeatedly taken from his care.

This woman has 14 kids and absolutely no way to take care of them. Why isn't anyone stepping in? Has society become so scared that the courts fear a law suit if they are taken away? If I can get taken away for only going to school 3 out 5 days a week, how come these kids are going to be allowed to stay in such an unhealthy, unstable environment?

It just makes no sense.

Sober Ramblings, Part 2

My job is changing. I am very excited. Though, I am terribly sad the person I am replacing is leaving. She is awesome and I will miss working with her.

But, for me, I get to work in HR again and I have missed it so much. I'm currently the admin for the Marketing department and all I do all day is print things and copy things and maintain calendars. I will have actual responsibilities again and I am super excited about that. And I really do enjoy working in HR. I was an HR Assistant at my last job and I miss it more than I thought I would.

My cold has gone away for the most part. I'm still a bit nasally, but otherwise, all is good.

I've been following this season of American Idol, much to my dismay. I told myself I wouldn't, but it sucked me in. Jerks. Anyway, the most annoying human to ever appear on a reality show is on this season. And, no, I am not talking about Tatiana Del Toro, but I will get to her in a second. I am talking about Danny Gokey, or Archuleta 2.0: All Grown Up. I hate him.

I hate him so much. Supposedly the guy's wife died 4 weeks before he auditioned. I say supposedly because I wouldn't put it past him to make the whole thing up just to get votes. He does nothing but talk about how he doesn't want to talk about his dead wife, but then he and his friends and family use every opportunity they can to bring it up. And he only sings inspirational dreck. A constant reminder of how he was risen from tragedy to acheive greatness. It's gross.

The icing on the cake was last week's results show. The Idol producers pitted Jesus Gokey and Tatiana Del Toro against each other for the final top 12 spot up for grabs this week. First of all, it was obvious Gokey was going through. The show and the judges have been pimping him since day 1. He's had more screen time than Ryan Seacrest. I was appalled at the way the judges all collectively orgasmed over his mediocre performance of Mariah Carey's "Hero" the night before. He was going through, whether he had the most votes or not.

He's standing center stage next to Tatiana, who is on the verge of a breakdown. Was she faking? I don't know, nor do I care. She kept trying to grab his arm. It is an Idol rule that if you are going against someone head to head for a spot, you put your arms around each other for support. He kept backing away from her. He looked like Mr. Popularity backing away from the weird girl for fear it might make him look uncool. Then when they announced he was through, he started cheering and fist pumping and Tatiana was left in tears. Idol rule #2: when you get through after going head to head with someone, you always hug and comfort them first. It just made him look like an arrogant asshole.

I've also been very annoyed with the producers and their desire for Tatiana to go nuts. The judges are constantly trying to get her to freak out and she's not falling for it and I say good for her. Is it possible that she watched herself back in the audition rounds and was mortified? Maybe she never realized she was weird before. Maybe now she is trying to keep her cool so people will stop making fun of her. The way they treated her was really ugly.

But enough about Idol.

Have I mentioned how much I've been digging Hole's Live Through This album? What a

fantastic album. I cannot get enough. I want to listen to it over and over again.

I played some Rock Band 2 for the first time in a month. There is an incredibly difficult song that keeps popping up now, "Get Clean" by Anarchy Club. God, it's awful and I can barely get past the first 20 seconds. In fact, I've only been further once, and that was yesterday. It is ruining my enjoyment of the game. It keeps showing up and I can't beat it so then I have to abandon the gig and start over at a lower difficulty, which is just boring for all of the other songs. It makes me not want to play anymore.

The Academy Awards were last night. No real suprises. I was happy Kate Winslet won. I was sad Robert Downey, Jr. lost. Do people really truley believe that Heath Ledger would have won if he was alive? Would he even have been nominated? It was a good popcorn movie. He was the highlight of it, but he is not the be all and end all. Hopefully, the whoring out of his name can finally end and he can be put to rest.

I liked the new stage set up. But where was Jack Nicholson? I did not see him in the front row. I liked Hugh Jackman and thought the opening routine was great. I hated the previous winters introducing the nominees. It really dragged and it felt awkward. I tried to stay up for the Memorium, but I'm glad I missed it. It sounds like it was pretty tacky.

I think I've rambled on about nothing for long enough today.

Have a great week!

Lost Episode 6, "316"

I think I've come to the point with this show where my brain can't quite handle all the science and mythology. I love science. I used to love scouring the internet every Thursday morning for all the hidden meanings and clues throughout the previous night's episode. But, oddly, as soon as the show really starts giving me all the geeky wonderfulness it has eluded to since season 1 episode 1, I can't handle it. Maybe I'm not the geek I believe myself to be. It's not that I don't get it or am too dumb to understand. It's just so much and I just don't have the time to devote myself to all of mysteries like I used to.

Either way, I still enjoy this show immensely. No other program compares. I think I just need to go along for the ride now.

So speaking of season 1 episode 1, last night's show started out exactly the same way. A close up of Jack's eye, then panning out to see him lying in the jungle. You hear someone (Hurley) calling for help. Jack, in all his heroic glory, runs to his rescue. Hurly is in a lagoon, holding on for dear life to a guitar case. Jack does the most ungraceful dive I have ever seen and manages to pull big old Hurley to safety. I guess water does make everyone feel lighter. Then they see a body lying on some rocks. Who's that? Hurley and I ask in unison. Oh, it's Kate. Hmmm. Maybe she's dead. Nope. Dammit. Looks like they're back on the island.

Flashback to 46 hours earlier.

This entire episode is about how the Oceanic 6 - give or take a couple - make it back to the island. I was already in for disappointment because, as you know, I really can't stand the majority of the O6. But, I'm still curious about how they get back and I'm very surprised they are doing it so early in the season. It makes me really excited for the rest of the season, assuming it will all be island related.

We are back at the church now with Jack, Ben, Sun, Eloise, and Desmond and his beautiful feathered hair. Oh, Desmond....

Eloise leads everyone to the basement of the church, also known as "The Lamppost" by the Dharma folks. It's a big room with a huge pendulum swinging in the middle over a map of the world. There are chalkboards full of equations and old Dharma hatch computers everywhere.

I need to ramble about something for a second just to try to make sense of it.

Eloise was an Other, or really, a Hostile. She was part of the original Richard Alpert group. An island native, we are led to believe. She was on the island before Dharma ever got there. At some point in the late 60s/early 70s, Dharma shows up. According to Eloise, they found the island using The Lamppost", basically a big science experiment studying magnetic forces around the world, the island being the strongest of them all. We learned that in the early 90s, Ben and Richard concocted a plan to kill the Dharma folks. They then took over their camp, and presumably their hatches, and started doing their own experiments. Why? Who knows. Richard seemed to not know about the time travel capabilities of the island when Locke told him he was from the future. Maybe Dharma got them curious? At some point during all of this, Eloise has left the island. Did she have Daniel on or off the island? I would assume off since Daniel is not having nosebleeds yet, which would mean he hasn't been tied to the island as long as the others. Why did Eloise leave? Did she leave with Widmore? Is that Daniel's babydaddy? Was she requested at some point to push the Frozen Donkey Wheel? But if Richard didn't know about the time travel, he wouldn't have known about the FDW. Daniel had to have been born in the mid-70s, right around the time Dharma first got there, so they most likely hadn't discovered the FDW yet either. Hmmm...questions, questions, questions.

 So where was I? Oh, yes. Eloise tells everyone about the room and what it does and that they now have only 36 hours left before they have to go back to the island. Is she seem less creepy to anyone else? Her eyes don't look nearly as black. She almost seems silly. Which is what Desmond thinks, too. See? He and I are so connected. He tells her all this time travel crap is a bunch of hooey and calls them all a bunch of dumbasses for believing her. She tells him the island isn't done with him yet. He tells her that he is done with the island. Goodbye, Desmond. I'm glad the island isn't done with you, because I hope to see you again...

The O6, or O2, or O3 if you count Ben - then I guess it's O4 if you count DeadLocke - need to catch flight 316 out of LA to Guam in order to get back to the island. They all leave to go pack. Eloise pulls Jack aside and gives him a letter from Locke. Looks like Locke hung himself. Was this supposed to be shocking? I feel like we already knew this. Locke wanted Jack to have the letter. Jack doesn't want to open it because, as we all know, the last thing Jack ever wants is more information. We see this highlighted later in the episode.

Eloise tells Jack that they have to recreate the OriginalPlaneCrash as closely as they can. DeadLocke will serve as a substitute for Jack's dead dad. But Jack will need to put something of his father's in Locke's coffin. Jack freaks out because his dad has been dead for 3 years and I guess that means that you have to destroy everything that was ever his.

Jack is next at the bar when he gets a call. It was his paternal grandfather. Seems he was trying to escape from the nursing home. Why am I supposed to care? Oh, because he has a pair of Christian Shepard's shoes. How convenient. They really needed to throw in Jack's granddaddy just to get something that belonged to his dad? His mom doesn't have a single shirt or watch or golf clubs or something left behind? Whatever.

Jack is pleased as punch. It's almost like....FATE made this happen! Could all that mumbo-jumbo Locke was always spewing on the island have been right?

He stumbles home and doesn't turn on any lights while he looks for some liquor. Because, as I said before, Jack wants no further information in his head. He just can't handle it. Even the help the light would give him in finding some booze is too much to handle. He hears a noise. He stumbles through the dark to his bedroom. There on the bed is Kate. Crying. Surprise. Kate is crying. What did she do now? Jack actually asks a question: "Where's Aaron?" Where IS Aaron, Kate? Where is YOUR SON! Kate says that she will go back to the island, but Jack can never ever ask her about Aaron again. Obviously, this is the easiest thing anyone has ever asked Jack to do, so he agrees. Then they get it on. Because why not? Jack still hasn't turned on the lights and Kate is vulnerable and sad. Only Jack's inner heroics can make her feel better. Ugh. Gross. I hate them.

The next morning the sun is shining and both of them seem quite happy. Jack has already forgotten he had a nephew. I mean, his brain must be so relieved to have lost some more information. Jack has made Kate her favorite breakfast. Oh, how sweet. They chit chat for a bit, then she heads home to pack and get to the airport.

Ben calls Jack and tells him he will have to pick up DeadLocke from the butcher shop because, well, he's had a bit of an issue arise. We see Ben at a phone booth (because there are still plenty of those around) all bloody and banged up. Jack doesn't ask any questions (do we see a theme here?) and is off to pick up DeadLocke.

(Before I go on, my husband just wrote me and said his co-worker thinks Ben was all bloody because he just killed Penny. I swear that if Penny is dead and Kate gets to live happily ever after, I will declare this the worst show ever made. No matter how good the finale is. I won't care. Desmond and Penny are THE love story on this show. They are the only two people whose happiness I care about. I used to care about Sun and Jin, as well, but then Sun started to suck this season and now I just want Jin to leave her and take the baby. Speaking of their baby, is Sun really just going to leave her kid and go back to the island knowing she will never see her again? Odd.)

The chick at the butcher shop lets him in and goes to get the van. Jack opens the casket 

and puts the suicide note Locke left him in Locke's coat. He also exchanges Locke's shoes for his dad's. Blah blah blah.

Everyone starts to arrive at the airport. Jack, Sun, Kate. But, look! There's Sayid! In handcuffs! Being led by an FBI agent! WTF? They get to the terminal and there's Hurley! How did he get out of jail? Jack actually asks? But Hurley won't give it up. That is so out of character. For both of them. Oh, and Hurley also bought out as many of the empty seats as possible to save the lives of the innocent. How very Hurley.

They get on the plane and Sayid is there with the FBI person. Hurley has a guitar. Everyone else is everyone else. Then Ben comes running onto the plane, arm in a sling, all bruised. Hurley freaks out (so my theory of Ben getting bloody by breaking Hurley out of jail was false. He better not have killed Penny!) . Jack calms him down. Take off.

Now, I assume the guitar is to represent Charlie. Sayid is handcuffed with an FBI agent to represent how Kate was when she originally came to the island. Why Kate can't represent Kate, I don't know. I guess she is that incompetent. It seems there are a lot of people not represented. Whatever.

But wait! The flight attendant just announced that their captain is Frank Lapeidus (spelling?)

Holy crap. Jack goes up to say hi. Frank steps out of the cockpit and I can't tell if he is the same actor or just looks really different with a haircut and a shave. I'll go with the latter. You can't change actors on a show like Lost. People will read too much into it.

Turns out Frank has a nice little life flying commercial jets around. He starts to notice who is sitting in first class. Oops. Sucks for you, dude. Guess you're not going to Guam after all.

Later on this oh so pleasant flight, Jack and Ben are hanging out in the back of the plane. Jack is staring at nothing while Ben reads a book, Ulysses (take it away internet folks...what is the significance of that?), reading lamp and all. How adorable. Ben really is adorable when it comes down to it.

Jack asks another question (shocking!), "how can you read?" to which Ben replies, "My mom taught me" HA! God I love Ben and his snark. Best line of the series ever. They then get into a conversation about how Jack had nothing to do with Locke's suicide and that Jack should just read the god damn letter. Then Ben storms off because he is so fucking pissed he has to share another scene with his humongous waste of space.

Jack reads the letter (oops forgot to tell you that the flight attendant found it when the airline searched Locke's coffin). It says: "Jack, I wish you would have believed. JL" Me, too, John. Me, too. If he just would have believed , you would all be alive and well and living on the beach eating Dharma cereal and drinking Dharma beer. How awesome does that sound? Pretty awesome.

The plane starts to go through some turbulence. Everyone prepares for the inevitable. A big flash of light happens and then.....

We start back at the beginning of the episode. It replays the first five minutes. Then everyone looks around wondering where the rest of their crew is? Sun, Sayid, Ben? Where are they? A Dharma van pulls up. Out comes someone in Dharma gear. 

He points a gun at them. The camera pans up. It's Jin! Everyone looks confused. The end.

So, I think we can say that when Locke turned the Frozen Donkey Wheel that the island Losties and the island were trapped in whatever time period it was when the wheel was turned. My guess is this was right about the time when Dharma first showed up. Now all of those flashes and crap that was happening was supposed to be happening immediately after season 4, when everyone else got off the island. Now it is three years later. Dharma is in full force on the island and the Losties have had to infiltrate their group and act as members to survive (and , presumably try to get off the island. Because they don't know Locke made it off. They think he was buried alive). This also explains the first scene in the first episode of this season with Faraday in Dharma gear at the construction of the Orchid.

Crazy stuff is about to happen, folk. Crazy stuff.

I just have these questions: Where is Aaron? Where is Sun, Sayid, and Ben? How did Hurley get out of jail? Why is Ben bloody (better not be Penny)? And why did Sun willingly leave her kid forever and how much is this going to piss off Jin?

Stay tuned.

Sick and Tired

I'm sick.  And it's totally unfair.  

Okay, so it's never fair to be sick.  But, usually when I get sick, I get a week of slight sniffles, maybe a few aches...some warning signs that sickness is soon to come.  This took me completely by surprise.

I was feeling great all last week.  Then, as I was sitting in a very long budget meeting on Friday afternoon, my throat started to feel sore.  I assumed I was just tired and didn't think much of it.  Then on the bus home, I could barely keep my eyes open.  Once again, I just thought I was tired.

My husband and I had dinner plans that night to celebrate Valentine's Day.   So I sucked it up and didn't let my "tiredness" get to me.

As the night wore on, I could feel myself getting worse.  Sure enough, when I woke up the next morning, I felt like crap.  I was still functional, but definitely sick.  I spent the day on the couch helping my husband play Zelda: Twilight Princess.  It's one of my favorite things to do.  Watch my husband play video games and help him figure out puzzles and where to go and what to do.  I get to nervous and anxious to actually play myself.

On Sunday, nothing much had changed.  I managed to make it out to my co-worker's kid's big metal show at a local bar.  And for a metal band full of 17 year olds, they were pretty good.  I was impressed.

Monday morning was another story.  I was completely out of commission.   Luckily, it was President's Day and my office was closed.  I spent the day lounging around and doing absolutely nothing.  I went to bed early prepared to go to work on Tuesday.

Tuesday ended up being the worse day (so far).   I got up with every intention of calling in and working from home.  Except, I couldn't log into my email from home because my password expired.  I had to go into the office to change my password.  I also gathered up some work to do at home and left.  I was at work a total of 30 minutes.

I worked for about an hour at home and then retired to the couch.  I watched a lot of daytime television and wondered why advertisers find this to be the prime time to sell laxatives.  Every other commercial revolved around bathroom activities.

The night was spent (lost) to American Idol.  I swore I was not going to watch this season.  I found my idol last season.  Every episode this year gets worse and worse.  The talent is greatly lacking.   The production value has gone way down and the new rules make no sense and seem really unfair.  I spent two hours on that show last night and hated every second of it.  And no matter what the Idol producers want, I will not root for this Danny - ImissmydeadwifebutIdon'twanttotalkaboutherbutwaititwillgetmevotessohereIgo - Gokey fellow.   It's disgusting.  He's not even that good of a singer, and he doesn't have the looks or charm to make up for it.  He sucks and I hope he goes home first because everyone else thinks so, too.   Anyway, I think I just watch so I have more to read about on the internet.  I'm addicted.  To the internet.

I managed to make it to work today.  I found out some really exciting news about my job.  I'll talk more of that in another post later.  But, I left a couple of hours early.   I'm still not feeling anywhere near 100%.  I think I'm hovering around 35-40%.   But there was a slight improvement from yesterday to today.  Hopefully I will feel better by the weekend and be able to enjoy it.  My three day weekend was completely robbed from me.

Sadly, I'm excited to be home right now because after watching Oprah yesterday, I got really excited to watch her today.  Oprah is so awesome.  She completely sucks you in.  

SoapNet also airs reruns of Beverly Hills, 90210.  They are on my favorite time period right now.  I highly enjoy the post college years when they are all out in the "real world".   Both Oprah and 90210 are starting in 10 minutes, so off to the couch I go!

Lost Episode 5 "This Place Is Death"

Okay...let's just start with the off island crap. I like to get it out of the way....

We start this episode in the car with Sun who is fondling her gun. She gets a call from her daughter (omg, when she said 'annyong' I had to say it back due to watching too much Arrested Development) and they chat. She gets out of the car and points the gun at Ben. Ben, as calm as ever, proceeds to tell her that Jin is still alive and he has proof if she will just join he and Jack and come to the church with them. She agrees.

Sayid and Kate decide to bail. Amazingly, Kate manages to remember to grab Aaron (HER SON!) as she leaves. Sun, Jack, and Ben head to the church to meet up with Eloise Hawkins (or is it Hawking? I forget. I'll just call her Eloise).

I just have to say that this opening scene was one of the worse pieces of combined acting I have ever seen on a major network television show. It seemed like they brought in the stunt doubles to do the scene. It was just awkward.

On the way to the church Jack tells Sun that if Ben is lying about Jin, he will kill him because he already made Kate upset and nobody likes it when Kate starts whining. This hurts Ben's feelings and he immediately pulls the car over and threatens to turn this thing around and go home if they don't start behaving. No, I'm kidding. Kind of. He does tell them that if they only knew everything he has been doing to protect them these last three years, they wouldn't be so quick to hurt him. But if they want to kill him, just get it over with. They keep going to the church.

When they arrive, Ben gives Sun Jin's wedding ring as proof that he is still alive. He tells her Locke gave it to him when he returned from the island. Because of this, Sun agrees to go back to the island with Ben.

As soon as I was starting to realize I can't watch one more scene that has to do with Sun or Jack, Desmond pops up to make everything better. Oh, Desmond...sigh.........................

I'm guessing the writer's realized they had to hook Desmond up with Jack, Sun, and Ben because Ben alone cannot combat the massive amount of suckage that spews off Jack. Add Sun to the mix, and Desmond was needed. Stat. And I used to like Sun.

Desmond is here looking for Faraday's mother and thinks they are all doing the same. He seemed to get to L.A. pretty quick. But whatever. He's Desmond, brotha.

They all go into the church and the music gets all mysterious as the writer's try to make it the big reveal at the end that Eloise is Faraday's mom...like we didn't guess that 3 episodes ago.

Cut. Scene. End of episode.

But wait, there's more!

On the island:
Jin is still hanging out with Rosseau and her French team. She tells him it is 1988. He tells them he must find his camp, which confuses them because he said his boat sank. Btw, Jin's English has progressed immensely while he was passed out and floating in the ocean.

They ask him to take them to the radio tower so they can see where the numbers (4 8 15 16 23 42) are coming from. He agrees and they head into the jungle and run into an old friend. Smokey! The smoke monster arrives and starts it's attack. It manages to snag a member of the team and drag him into a hole. As the rest of the group tries to hang onto him, Smokey wins and pulls him into the hole. The rest of the team just get his arm. Yes, they pulled off his arm.

The team chooses to go into the hole after him. Jin convinces Rosseau to stay behind for the sake of the baby. She agrees, the sky blows up and Jin is sent to another time.

He makes it to another beach and finds two members of the French team dead on the beach. They appear to have been shot. He then sees Rosseau holding a gun to her babydaddy yelling at him about how he's changed and how that thing has made him sick. Now ladies, I know we have all had that argument before, am I right? The babydaddy begs for his life and just as she gives in, he points a gun at her. But she draws first and shoots him. She then sees Jin and starts yelling and shooting at him. He runs into the jungle and the sky blows up again.

(Now, is this going to be all of Rosseau's back story? Why does she think they are sick? She never mentioned Smokey before. She just kept talking about the sickness. I'm just confused about this.)

Jin hears a gun behind him and slowly turns around. It's Sawyer! And Juliette! And Locke and Miles and Charlotte and Faraday! Finally.

They explain the best they can about what is going on. Then Charlotte admits she can speak Korean and she finishes the job. Why does everyone think it's odd that she can speak Korean? Lots of people know different languages.

They continue on to the Orchid.

Meanwhile, the sky is blowing up like crazy. The flashes are much more constant. Everyone (besides Faraday and Locke) has a bloody nose. And then Charlotte passes out again. They revive her and she begins talking all crazy. She tells Jin to make sure that Sun never comes back because "this place is death!".

Locke gets sick of her shit and makes everyone leave her behind and head to the Orchid. But Faraday can't leave her and stays with her. Before they leave, Charlotte tells Locke to look for the well and that is how they will get to the frozen donkey wheel - in case time moves again and the Orchid isn't there...how did she know that?.......

As she goes in and out of making sense, she tells Faraday that she was born on the island and lived there throughout her childhood until she and her mother were let go. Her mother told her that the island never existed and it was all in her head. She has been trying to find it ever since.

She then remembers a crazy man from the island who told her to never come back to the island because she would die, and guess what? He looked an awful lot like Faraday. Duh duh duhhhhhhhhh. Then she dies. Goodbye, Charlotte. I thought you were cool.

Sawyer, Locke, Jin, Juliette, and Miles make it to the Orchid and it's there! (Woohoo!) But not for long. (Oh damn) Locke finds the well with a long rope leading into a very deep dark place. He's about to head down, but Jin stops him and makes him promise not to bring Sun back (oops) and gives him his wedding ring to give to her to prove that he is dead. Locke promises (what a liar) and heads down the hole. But not before everyone tells him that he's their hero. Seriously.

As he's making his way down the hole, the sky starts blowing up. Sawyer grabs hold of the rope to try to keep Locke with them. But Locke falls and breaks his leg really bad. We're talking bone sticking out of the leg bad. It was gross. What's up with this episode and gross body parts? Sawyer is left holding a rope that is stuck in the ground. The well is gone and is covered by earth. They are left thinking Locke is dead and buried.

But he's not. He's in serious serious pain, but he is not alone. From the cavern comes....Christian Shepard! Holy crap! He tells Locke that he's upset because he didn't listen when he told him that Locke had to move the island and not Ben. He tells him he can make it better now, though, by fixing the wheel which is off balance, by giving is a little push. This will cause his death, but the island will feel better. That's all Locke needs to hear. He gets up (he asks Christian if he will help him up, in which Christian replies, bitch,please) and makes his way to the wheel. It is wobbling around. He pushes it. There is a flash. The end.

Now, it was obvious the wheel was off balance. Could this be why the island was flashing like crazy? And if that is all it is, then why does everyone need to come back?

Will anyone tell the Losties that Locke is okay and made it off the island? Will the island keep flashing? Or are they in danger because they are now stuck in a dangerous time? Maybe around the time that the Dharma Initiative first took camp? Maybe around the time that the Orchid is first built? Maybe that's how Faraday gets there in that scene from the first episode? Maybe this is when he tells a young Charlotte not to come back? Maybe, maybe, maybe????

One more thing, I really hope Rosseau's babydaddy's synopsis of what the smoke monster is is not the answer that we have all been waiting for...because we've already figured that out. We don't need to know what it does or it's purpose, but what IS it? And does it eat people? Because it was acting like a hungry bear.

The Dishes Are Done, Man

I'm certain that if I was single and lived alone, I would lose a ton of weight because I wouldn't eat because I hate to do the dishes that much.   Dishes waiting at home in the sink for me can ruin my entire afternoon.  I dread them.  

I'm really meticulous with them, as well.  I spend a great amount of time just rinsing them before I even begin to actually wash.  

I hate the feeling and look of wet food.  When a pan of last night's dinner has been soaking and you dump the water out and all of this wet mush comes out....ugh....it makes me gag.   I also can't stand it when I'm washing them and I see little bits of floating food in the water.   This is why I rinse them so carefully.   If I do see floaters,  I have been known to drain the water and start over.

But, I have to do them.  My husband does them quite often.  He knows of my disdain.  But he does so much already, I feel like I should have at least one chore besides bill paying.   But every time I come home and he has already finished them, I remember how lucky I am to have him.

  

Monday Morning Wrap Up

It's rainy and it's Monday, but I am not down.

I had a lovely weekend. Nothing too exciting happened. It was just a pleasant weekend.

I spent Friday night doing one of my favorite things: singing karaoke. We were out with my husband's old coworkers, a reunion of sorts. These people always bring out the party atmosphere and I found myself doing shots, which I never do. We got a table right by the dj. I made friends quickly and it paid off. He let me sing all of my songs. Here is what I sang:

No Doubt: "Just A Girl"
Blondie: "One Way Or Another"
Prince: "When Doves Cry" (first time doing this one and I will never do it again - sucked)
Tina Turner: "Proud Mary" (I don't pretend I can actually sing this song, but it's fun to do)
Lita Ford: "Kiss Me Deadly"
Meatloaf: "Paradise By the Dashboard Light" (I sang this with some random bald old dude. It got kind of creepy)

I also sang "Islands in the Stream" briefly to fill in the gap for one of my cohorts who gave up after the first few lines.

...I feel like I sang more, but I don't remember....

It was a good night. I was just drunk enough. But not too drunk that I felt like shit the next day.

Saturday we did our taxes and we aren't getting anything back. Oh, well. I went out to see my dad who told me he is trying to prepay for his cremation. Though I appreciate him not wanting to leave his kids with the bill, it is a morbid topic for a sunny Saturday afternoon. My dad will be 68 this year. He is not that old. He has a bad case of diabetes (his right leg is amputated and he is legally blind from it), he is actually healthier than he has been in years. He doesn't drink anymore, he watches his diet, he excercises. I just think he's tired. Life hasn't been easy on the guy.

I was in bed early on Saturday. I didn't get much sleep the night before. I did pick up season 1 of Weeds from Target. I have yet to start watching it, but I'm looking forward to it.

Sunday I made soup! It's awesome. Cannellini bean and pasta soup. I was so proud of myself. I brought some in for lunch today and it was soooo goood. Mmmmm.....

I watched the Grammys last night. They were better than they have been in years, but still, I either don't know who half the people are anymore or I can't believe they are giving awards out to the people I have head of. And why was Miley Cyrus even there? I understand she has made some recordings, but so have the dogs singing "Jingle Bells" and they weren't invited. Do the Grammys not have any pride anymore? They did remind me of how awesome Jay-Z is. Damn that man is cool. How do you get to be so fucking cool? And big props to M.I.A. and her big belly for getting through the night.

Only 30 minutes left of my work day. As the Little Engine That Could (my favorite book as a kid) would say: I think I can...I think I can...I think I can....

Lost Episode 4, "The Little Prince"

This is going to be a difficult one for me today. Not only was my mind not as into it after our household finally fell victim to the recession (due to a paycut), but it just wasn't a very memorable episode. It proved to me that I am much more invested in what is happening on the island that off of it.

Where to begin....

So Kate is still freaking out because somebody wants to take "her baby" away from her. I agree with something I read somewhere online that I would really like to see the transistion of Kate becoming Aaron's mom and watching that relationship grow. I think they tried to do that tonight with the 5 minute opening scene on Penny's boat, but it didn't work. That would be an actual backstory of Kate's that I would be interested in.

Kate borrows a suit from Sun and heads to the lawyer's office to see if she can meet with the client who wants her baby. He says that won't happen. So she stalks him outside his office so she can follow him to his client's house.

Meanwhile, Jack and Ben and Sayid are all at the hospital. Some random dude tries to attack Sayid, but he gives him the smackdown that only Sayid or Jack Bauer can and finds Kate's address in his pocket. Odd, they think. Jack decides he needs to rescue Kate and Ben says to meet he and Sayid at the pier once he's done. There was also a great shot of Hurley in his prison orange jumpsuit when he calls Jack to tell him where he is.

Jack runs to Kate and ends up with her as she follows the lawyer. They both decline to tell each other anything, as usual. Kate finally fesses up once they get to the lawyer's destination. They see that his client is...duh duh duh...Claire's mom!

I hate Claire's mom. I hate the way she speaks. "Her name was Claaaaireah. She was yo sistahhhh." So lame.

But, Jack talks to her and she has no idea who Aaron and Kate are and we find out that the lawyer's real client is Ben. Who didn't see that coming? Honestly, I thought it would be either Ben or Sun. I am a bit sick of the misdirection this show has been doing this season. Why throw the crap in there with Claire's mom? What was the point? To chew up 5 minutes of air time? So lame.

Sun is back at the hotel babysitting and has a gun delivered and some spy photos of Jack with Ben. Oh Noes! Sun seeks revenge! So lame.

In the end, they all meet at the pier and Kate freaks out when Ben shows up with Sayid because, of course, Jack failed to mention that this is what is happening and why Sun and Aaron needed to meet them there.

Sun is seen lurking in the shadows fondeling her gun and drooling with anticipation of offing Ben (and maybe even Jack!).

Now for the better stuff (notice I didn't say good, because even the island stuff kind of blew last night)...

The Losties are trying to revive Charlotte after her seizure and Juliette is bugging Daniel for answers as to why this happenig while Sawyer freaks out and Miles whines that nobody cares about him. Locke has a revelation and demands they head to the Orchid station where all this happens so he can die and save the island. Do Locke's sudden ideas seem forced to anyone else? Where is he getting all of these ideas? He hasn't spoken to Jacob in forever and the sky keeps blowing up before Richard can tell him anything. It almost seems like the writer's are thinking maybe 2 more seasons isn't enough and now have to cram all of Locke's shit in, when really they could just kill of Kate and Jack and have plenty of time for Locke.

They decide to head to the beach and take the raft around the island to the Orchid for faster travels. On the way there, they see the light from the Swan hatch where OriginalLocke (that is how I'm going to explain the Losties who we see in the past on the island, okay?) was seen pounding on it after Boone dies in season 1. Locke says it's best to avoid it and move on.

Miles' nose starts bleeding. He informs Daniel.

They hear voices. Sawyer runs to investigate. OMG it is OriginalKate helping OriginalClaire give birth to OrginalAaron! Riveting. Do we really have to watch a scene from season 1 when there is much other shit to cover???? Sawyer stands there and drools over her for what seems like 30 minutes. Really. This is all it was. A scene from season 1 cutting back and forth from Sawyer standing there and drooling over his Precious Kate. Blah blah blah.

The only thing this scene did for me was help my theory that the whispers the Losties have continuously heard throughout the jungle is really the voices of the time travelling Losties.

Of course, the sky blows up again and he doesn't tell anyone what he saw, even after Locke begs him. He's just like Kate and Jack. They'd make a happy ignorant threesome.

They make it to the beach and it appears to be present time....or is it. The camp is there, but all of the food (and beer) is gone. It looks like everyone left in a hurry. The raft is gone, too...but there are two canoes on shore. Where did they come from? They weren't there in the Losties time. Could this be the future?

They take a canoe and head to the Orchid. While out at sea, the other canoe full of people we can't see start following them and shooting them. I was happy about this because it interrupted Sawyers rehashing of his sighting of OriginalKate to Juliette. The sky blows up in the nick of time again and they are saved from the bullets, only to be out in the ocean during a thunderstorm. They head back to the beach.

On shore, they see remenants of a boat crash. My first thought was Desmond. This must be from when his sailboat originally crashed. But Locke flips something over and there is french writing on it. Hooray! Danielle Rosseau!. Now we're getting somewhere. (Oh and Sawyer whines to Juliette some more about how wonderful Kate is and how he misses her and I'm left thinking, it's been like a day in your time since you last saw her.)

-This is what can make the time skipping fun. You get to see all of these things that happened before the Losties arrived. Everyone was so upset when Rosseau got killed because they thought it meant no backstory. But now we get to have it via time travel. Hooray!-

Cut to the middle of the ocean again and a young (and pregnant) Rosseau is drifting in a lifeboat with her team. They come across a body floating on a piece of wood in the ocean. They pull him aboard....it's Jin!!!! He's alive!!!! He was within the island's radius when it disappeared! He's been time skipping along with everyone! Except he doesn't know it because he's been unconsious. Boy, is he in for a suprise.

Rosseau, her team, and Jin land on the island. She revives Jin and introduces herself. Jin gets the best WTF face ever. Boom!Roasted. End.

So, yeah, it was a very dull episode capped with a great moment in the Jin revival. I love Jin. Hopefully next week gets off the I Love Kate train and heads back to weirdoville, because that's the Lost I love.

"Friends"

Where did the day go? To the internet again.

I spend way too much time online. I spend most of this time going between maybe 8 different websites. #1 being Facebook. I used to be a MySpace girl, but then was wooed after I started this job and most everyone I worked with was on Facebook. So I joined. I've been hooked ever since.

But now there is a problem. Now EVERYONE I work with is on Facebook. From VPs to admins. One VP "friended" me. I almost quit Facebook. But I accepted her "friendship". I spent the next two weeks concerned about every single thing my friends posted concerning me. Facebook is so open. Everyone knows everyone's business. That's part of the fun. But I don't need the VP of Communications seeing pictures of me at 19 years old drunk as hell wearing a studded collar and hanging out with tattooed goth dudes. And, unfortunately with Facebook, I have no control over that. If some friend of mine throws up some old picutres and tags me in one of them, all of my "friends" see that I have been tagged in a photo and can view that photo. I'm not ashamed of my past and I don't care what most of my co-workers see. But the VP does not need to see it and she should know better than to friend someone so low on the office totem pole. It puts me in a very uncomfortable spot. My boss is on Facebook and has been ever so kind and wise enough not to friend me and to allow me my privacy. This is not LinkedIn. That is where professionals go to congregate. This is Facebook. This is where I go to find out about my friends and peers. Stay away from it VP.

Thankfully, another co-worker showed me how to delete friends without them knowing, so I did some house cleaning. Goodbye, VP.

Burned After Viewing

My husband and I headed to Target on Friday night looking for a funny movie. We went for Role Models, which is not out yet, and left with Burn After Reading. We thought, Cohen Brothers, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, the reviews all over the box calling it hilarious were all good signs. How could it go wrong?

Oh, man did it go wrong.

What a horrible, boring movie. We did not watch it together. That's usually what happens. We buy a movie with every intention of sitting down and watching it together and then we get distracted and end up watching them alone on the computer, which is what I did on Sunday night.

I sat there in front of the computer staring for a very long time. I wanted to laugh. By the end, I wanted to feel something. But I felt nothing. Just boredom.

My biggest issue is that I am so sick of movie after movie filled with horrible people that do horrible things to other horrible people and you are supposed to care. It is the new hip way to make a movie and it's getting really old. There was not one character to root for in the whole movie. The closest one was John Malkovich, and I can't stand him, so that made me dislike the movie even more.

I'm not looking for some Rudy like underdog character. But just make someone likable. I live in the real world and generally hate most people, but there are likeable people out there, as well.

I have a feeling that's what Brad Pitt's character was supposed to be. But I just couldn't get over how awful he looked. I'm not a Brad Pitt fangirl and have not found him attractive for years now. What bothered me was his age. I'm not entirely sure if the character he was playing was supposed to be an old guy trying to be young. To me, it just seemed like they wanted Brad in the movie, gave him a part, botoxed the hell out of his face and told this 45 year old guy to play at 28 year old. It just didn't work. He looked ridiculous - and not in a funny way. And not in a Benjamin Button way, either.

It also felt like an excuse for a bunch of friends to get together and make a movie without any regard for story or entertainment.

It was not funny. It was not sad. It was not shocking. It was not entertaining. It barely barely held my attention. I kept waiting for the good part, and the next thing I knew it was over.

I will give this move .5 out of 5 stars, but it only goes to Richard Jenkins, who was the only character I actually cared for. Although I kept waiting for the big reveal that he was a recovering pedophile or something after it's revealed he used to be a priest. Luckily, that never happened. Maybe in the director's cut?