Twelfth

I have a show on the twelfth of November. I was discussing it last night and had to keep saying ‘twelfth’ over and over again. I’ve decided this is one of my least favorite words. Look at it. It looks wrong in every way. Now say it. It’s incredibly difficult to say. The L, F, T, H all smooshed together at the end. It just doesn’t work. I feel like I’m saying and spelling it wrong. And there’s no way to get around saying it when talking about a date. November twelfth. The twelfth of November. It’s better in written form when written numerically, like 12th. But you still have to say it and saying it is wrong. But, there is no way around it. I have a show on the twelfth of November and I have to keep saying it when I tell people about it.

Cars Part 3, 1997 Mercury Tracer

To recap: I had a car that’s ignition would quit on me so I went to look at new cars and my car’s ignition quit again and I was stuck at a dealership with a car that wouldn’t start.

(once again, not my actual car - but this time it's the correct color)

Since I was at the dealership and stuck there, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to look at the cars, maybe test drive a few. Then I was going to call my dad and have him come get me. There was no way they would sell me a car even if I wanted one.

Different times, those 90s.

I had never been inside a real car dealership at an age where they could legally sell me a car. I was pounced on immediately. I’m sure they thought I was an easy target. Young girl, wide-eyed, maybe I had rich parents. My car dealer walked me up and down the lot. He stopped in front of an easter egg green 1997 Mercury Tracer. It was less than 2 years old. It looked so new. He told me to get in and see how it felt. He then told me he thought it was a car that I “would look cute in”. Even at my young, naïve age, I knew what a sleazy car dealer man line that was. But, you know, I didn’t look bad in it.

I was sold.

We went inside to initiate the paperwork. I called my dad who was doing an overtime shift just down the road to see if he could come down and co-sign. After a couple of “Jesus, Niki!’s” he made his way down. Amazingly all of the financing went through. They even gave me $500 for the old Taurus. The very Taurus that wouldn’t start and was sitting stalled in their parking lot. And I rolled out of there in my newish car.

I loved this car and we had a lot of adventures together. I started dating my husband when I owned this car. We took trips to Duluth in this car. We drove to Arizona and back in this car. Then it slowly became destroyed.

First, I was driving down a cramped city street in the winter and my passenger side rear view mirror was ripped off in a minor accident.

Then, the driver’s side passenger door was almost ripped off in another accident. The outer shell was left completely twisted. At this time, I was unemployed and couldn’t afford to get it fixed. I couldn’t even afford the car payments, which is when the collection folks started calling all the time.

So, one spring day, I was out of town and my car was parked outside of my apartment. The city was doing street cleaning and so everyone had to move their cars. I wasn’t there to move mine. My roommate looked everywhere for my car keys, but could do nothing as she watched them tow it away.

Since I was unable to get it fixed or make payments on it, there was no way I was able to get it out of the impound lot after 3 days. So the next time the collection folks called, I told them where they could find the car. And they never called again.

Bad Wisdom

Last week I had one of my wisdom teeth pulled (upper left side). I found out I only have and will ever have two. Both on top. I don’t know what that means for my level of wisdom. But it seems to explain a lot.

It was a completely painful procedure and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Okay, so it wasn’t that bad. But, it was still very unpleasant. It hadn’t come out yet, but it was starting to, so they had to cut through bone. The whole idea of what was happening made me freak out and I had a panic attack about midway through. They had to give me oxygen. I’m such a baby.

Now it’s been a week and it is still healing. It’s certainly better, but I’m still afraid to eat anything. Not that it’s stopped me from eating. I’m just staying away from crunchy foods. That is the one thing my dentist advised. So, that is the one thing I am doing. I also get random pains and sensations in my gums. So, that’s weird. I assume it’s the bone reattaching itself, which is even weirder.

I really have no point with this post except that I felt I needed to document my first wisdom tooth being pulled.

So, one of my favorite albums ever for reasons I can’t explain (okay, that’s a lie. I fell in love with this album the summer I was unemployed and spent my days playing Super Mario Bros 3. I would listen to this album while playing the game on mute) is Suzanne Vega’s 99.9 F. The title of this post stems from a song on that album. Here is the YouTube’d audio:

Favorite Songs Ever, Part 3: "I Know" - Fiona Apple

“so be it I’m your crowbar…”

Break up songs are what make music go round. When does a songwriter feel most like expressing themselves than when they are down? You’re sad. You want to express it. You grab your guitar. You sit at your piano. You scribble out your feelings on a sheet of paper and somehow lyrics form. And you have a song.

There are millions, yes millions, of break up songs out there. Some are bitter. Some are heartbreaking. Some are empowering. But none are like “I Know” by Fiona Apple. With “I Know” she has captured the perfect moment in a break up. She has found that spot where you resign yourself to the end, yet you are still hopeful for a reunion. Somewhere in your being you think there is still a second chance option available. You think you can fix it, if you just ignore the problem at hand. Was it really a big deal? Can you live with it if it means living with that person?

“you can use my skin
To bury secrets in
And I will settle you down
And at my own discretion
I will ask no questions
While I do my thing in the background”

Her voice cracks and wavers. You can hear her struggle to sing through her pain. Fiona is one of few artists who don’t sing to sound pretty (even though she does). She really sings her emotions. You feel each and every one with every word. I find this song sometimes difficult to listen to because it is so damn beautiful. But when I do, I am so happy I did.

“and I will pretend that I don’t know of your sins
but all the time, all the time
I’ll know”

Below is a really great stripped down version of this song:

Sliding Doors

Last night was the first game of the playoffs for the Twins. They were playing the Yankees. They lost. It’s a story as old as time.

Since it was the Yankees and the playoffs, the game lasted ridiculously long. I went to a friend’s house to watch it (since we got rid of our cable and, for whatever reason, first round playoff games aren’t aired on basic television) and I didn’t get home until 11:30. I had one PBR too many and am feeling a little sluggish this morning.

There was a moment after the alarm went off that I thought about going in an hour late. But then I realized that would cause havoc between my husband and I trying to get ready at the same time, so I got out of bed.
And ever since, I’ve been having a bad day.

There is a part of me that wonders if, in some strange time line, there is a version of me that slept that extra hour. Maybe she got up a little more rested, a little less hungover. Her head was clearer, so she was able to find something to wear to work with ease instead of changing outfits 5 times. She remembered to put on make-up to cover the bags under her eyes and the bruise on her cheek, leftover from the wisdom tooth extraction the previous Monday. Her bus was not full when she got on so she was able to get a window seat to herself instead of sitting uncomfortably in one of those aisle facing seats, forced to stare at the person across from her. Maybe that bus had a different driver, not one who explicitly explains every upcoming stop in a loud booming voice, that did not keep her from taking a quick bus nap.

I guess nothing bad has happened since (knock on wood), but I’d really like to go home and back to bed.

But, I’m also glad to be downtown and so close to my dentist right now, because this hole where my wisdom tooth used to be is really bugging me.

CD Released!

O my goodness what a fantastic weekend. I know it’s Wednesday already and so this may seem a little past its due date to be writing about, but I needed this time to really absorb it.

Saturday night was my CD Release Party. I had been living with massive amounts of stress leading up to this night. Would the album be printed in time? Would the live music in my living room work out without blowing a fuse or burning down the house? Would people show up? What am I going to wear? Would people like my music?

It was such a huge success.

I was so pleased with the turn out. Everyone who showed up means so much to me in my life. I felt truly honored to have them as friends.

The live music turned out amazing. The first band, Shelly From Payroll – a 4 piece cover band made up of people I work with, brought a PA and mixing board and turned my living room into a sound stage. It sounded amazing in there. When the first started loading it all in, I panicked a little. I didn’t think it would fit. But it did. They made it work and they made it work well. It looked so awesome in there. I wish my living room could have a full sound system in it all the time.

Beyond their set up, Shelly From Payroll sounded great themselves. A great cover band.

Birds of Virginia were up next. Normally a full alt-country band, the lead singer/guitar player/songwriter, came to do an acoustic set. I think he blew everyone away. He sounded so awesome. If you have not heard this band before, go check them out. Now. Album is available on iTunes. Or go here: http://www.myspace.com/birdsofvirginia

Then came me. I was super nervous. I think I had 40 people in the house at this time. It might have been my largest audience yet. And, my drummer and I were playing our first “show” together. I’m a big fan of drums and when I play with him, I get a little too caught up listening to all of the awesome things he’s doing instead of just concentrating on my part. So I was sure I was going to mess up. And I did, a little. But it was alright. I played: “The Paul Simon Song”, “Cohabitate”, “Good to Know”, “Thursday” and “Good”. Then, I got a request to do the cover song I’ve started playing often. It’s Skid Row’s “I Remember You”. So I did that and it was awesome. Everyone sang along. It was a really nice moment.

And then it was party time. For me. I had been holding back on my beer intake since I had to play.

Unfortunately, my camera decided to flake out on me and so I got no pictures from the night. I’m bummed about that. Our house looked so awesome.

Oh, and I sold about 40 CDs. So that was nice. My music is officially out there. I signed up on CD Baby last night and hope to have it available for digital purchase soon.

Now, I need to get some more shows. I had all this moment leading up to the party and now it’s just stopped. It’s so hard to get shows. I can’t guarantee 40 people at my shows. I know 40 people who would come, but I don’t know if they can make it on a particular night at a particular time. I’m trying to get myself set up with a promotions company. Hopefully that happens and it will help.

I already miss my party. I want to do it all over again. We have plenty of beer left over.