Pages

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Going Nowhere


People say it takes money to make money. And they are correct. Everything that I want to do musically costs a fortune. Everything but writing. I can sit and write all day and it wouldn’t cost me a thing. Except, that writing doesn’t directly bring in any money and, therefore, it would cost me my home if I just sat at home writing all day. And, I really want some more instruments to write with. A piano, an organ, a new electric guitar, etc. All of those things cost money.

But, in order for me to make any money at all doing this music thing, I need money to work on it. I need money so I can stay home and work on it. I need money so I can get CDs printed. I need money so I can pay promoters and booking agents. I need money so I can travel. I need money for a website. I need money for merchandise. I need money for recording. I need money for instruments.

I’ve said that I regret not doing this when I was 20. It’s not because I think of all the possibilities of where I could be now if I just would have started 10 years ago. It’s because at 20, you can live the lifestyle of a struggling artist and it’s okay. Not that I can’t live that way now. But, now I have a mortgage, a car, a “career”. I have to keep up with these things. I can’t throw all of my eggs in this music basket. I don’t have the time to play around with it and I’ve made the choice to own a home, a car, and to work a 9-5 lifestyle to support that. Just because I now know what I want to do with my life, doesn’t mean I can drop everything and do it. I have to work around everything else and it’s incredibly frustrating.

I was invited to go to Nashville for some sort of artist showcase. I would play in front of industry types, they would give me their opinions, I could meet with them and get advice, and then, if they liked me, there’s a chance they would contact me about signing with them. Now, I don’t want to be on some major label. I don’t want to give away a ton of rights, just to sit at the bottom of their to do list only to end up owing them thousands of dollars in the years to come once they’ve tossed me aside, deciding I wasn’t marketable. But, the opportunity to network and meet other musicians and industry folk outside of my little Twin Cities Metro bubble seemed like something I shouldn’t pass up. And, hey! It’s Nashville! I’ve never been and this seemed like a good excuse to go. But, of course, there are conference fees, flights, a hotel room, all costing money that I just can’t justify spending money on at this time. So, then, if I’m not willing to spend money on that, then how much am I willing to do for this?

The bigger question would be: Do I want to make this a job? I know I don’t want to be an administrative assistant forever. That is the one thing I know for sure more than anything. But do I want to turn music into a job? Do I want to turn something I enjoy doing for fun into my sole financial provider? Will it stop being fun then? Do I want that? I know I’m not looking to be a millionaire. I just want to sustain my current lifestyle. I want to make what I’m making now by making music. And that’s not much.


So, then, I can either continue working admin jobs for an amount of money that is not changing my life. Or, I can work hard at something that I do enjoy for a meager amount of money. Would that make me a happier person? Would that be the right choice?

No comments: