Sunday, October 18, 2015

Back to Basics


Tomorrow I go back to work. It will be one month since I last was there. One month! So crazy. This time away has flown by. 

I was just rereading my last post. Another two weeks have gone by and a lot of the fears I had in that post have passed. Healing is happening. 

I can do nearly everything on my own now. Get up. Sit down. Lie down. Shower. Grocery shop. Walk the dog. Put on my socks and shoes. I still get sore if I do too much, though. I had to have Matt help me get my clothes out of the dryer today because the constant bending over to get them was too much. And I can't lift anything over 10 pounds. And getting up from lying down is still difficult, but I'm making improvements.

I'm still sleeping on the couch as I still can't sleep how I like to in bed. And because of the whole getting up thing. But I'm going to try the bed again tonight since things start to return to normal tomorrow. I need to start living how I used to.

I'm excited to go back to work. But also nervous. The office was recently remodeled and I only spent a week there before the surgery. It's going to be so different when I get back. And we have so much going on. I'm preparing myself to be exhausted and over stimulated. 

I went out a couple of times this weekend for the first time in over a month. I went to that birthday party I mentioned in my previous post. I lasted a whole two hours before I felt like I was going to fall asleep on my feet.

Then yesterday I went out to dinner with a couple of friends. It was lovely. But towards the end of the meal I started to feel sore and had to head home as they headed out to another event. 

I had a total of two beers over the weekend. First ones since Sept. 18th. That's been a nice break, honestly. It's nice to know that I can go a whole month without needing any alcohol. Just a good check in with myself.

Something else nice that's been discovered is I've lost 15 pounds this past month! Around 7 of that is due to what they took out of me. But the other 8 is just a happy side effect to all of this. I didn't eat much the first week and a half. I thought for sure I would have gained it all back by now. I've spent a lot of time on the couch eating snacks. But I haven't. Hopefully I can keep it off. 

I've got band practice this week! First time we'll have played together since early September. I can't wait. I miss those guys. And I miss playing with them. We've got some shows starting to fill up the calendar. I'm happy to have music back in my life again. I spent some time this last week doing some home recordings that I think I might put out in December for free…but we'll see. I have to give them some more listens and tweaks and make sure I'm comfortable putting them out there.

There's a lot I've missed these past few weeks. Parties. Concerts. Happy Hours. It's been a bummer. But, though I'm eager to get back to work and life as I used to know it, I'm also a little sad my break is over. Being forced to step away from things was definitely something I needed. I was wearing down. It's been wonderful to spend days with my dog, even when it was difficult and I couldn't do things with him. It was just nice being home with him and to be able to pet him and not have to put him in his kennel. He's led a very cushy past 4 weeks. It will be really hard to put him in his kennel when I go back to work tomorrow.

But, I'm very fortunate to work at such a great place. They have been so supportive through all this. And I'll be able to ease back into it. If I need to work from home, I can. 

I'm excited to get dressed for work tomorrow. It was nice to put on "real" clothes this weekend and go out a couple of times and put on some makeup and jewelry and feel like a person again. 

I'm just really excited to get back to normal. To have my job, to play my shows, to write songs with my band, to go out to see shows, to go to happy hours, to hang out with my husband, to walk my dog, to sleep comfortably in my bed, to laugh without pain, to drive my car, to dance around the house, and to go back to London in February!!!!  And we're going to go to Scotland, too!!!! 

Things to look forward to. Things to work towards. That's important.

For now, though, it's Sunday. 3pm. I did laundry. I played a little guitar. Matt made cornbread, which I get to enjoy later. Abdominal pain is minimal. I have an outfit picked out for my first day back to work tomorrow. 

I kinda feel normal. 

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